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Thread: Is what we do really so shocking?

  1. #46
    HONDARIDER
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    heehee...I don't think she'd ever call 911, but she has called me from another state to tell me she is lost...you can't imagine the conversation where I try to figure out where she is by her describing it...ummm...I'm near the river...under the highway...there's a brick building...some boats...I'm in a parking lot. From that information, I had to try to give her directions. She eventually got to her destination , but I have no clue how it happened.

  2. #47
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    There's a lot that's a bit sad in the OPs first post. How do we raise girls to be so fearful of doing things? (And is that spreading to more kids even today?). My female riding companion has ridden coast to coast quite a few times but always with some guy- would never go by herself and I initiate the trip schedules despite the fact that her MOA number is only a tiny fraction of mine At the smaller rallies she is invariably one of only a few women riding her own- by far the larger number are pillion.
    Have had 2 successive groups of 5 kids (family from up north) through her place in the past few weeks and not one of the kids ventured out of sight of adults/parents for even 10 seconds. When I was their age we used to just take neighbors boats out in Lake Champlain and go fishing or swim at the base of the nearby wing dam or jump off the 30 ft cliff into the water. These kids could have been potted plants for all their sense of adventure- there are boats on the dock out back, woods to explore that have everything from snakes to salamanders and places to swim and fish and even farm animals yet they preferred to watch TV..

  3. #48
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    Unfortunately, it's the way of the world these days...and the fact that we have such instant access to the media and all the tragedies of life! Parents want to keep their kids close to home and under their wings. It is a shame.
    Tonya
    2007 F800ST - Lovin' it!!

  4. #49
    Registered User Rapid_Roy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tnevling View Post
    Unfortunately, it's the way of the world these days...and the fact that we have such instant access to the media and all the tragedies of life! Parents want to keep their kids close to home and under their wings. It is a shame.
    Almost 10 years ago, I let my daughter out of my sight for 3 minutes in our yard and she contracted West Nile from some bad mosquitoes. Parents do that because it does happen, but by doing so, they can also cause it to happen. Now I ride to keep my sanity, and I understand bad things can/will happen no matter how you try and stop it. I have had comments from folks surprised at how often and far I ride as well, but I can see how women may get more. Some folks just don't get it
    19 BMWMOA Nationals under my belt, and I have no idea what I am doing.

  5. #50
    Rapunzel NewEnglander's Avatar
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    fearful children

    Quote Originally Posted by racer7 View Post
    There's a lot that's a bit sad in the OPs first post. How do we raise girls to be so fearful of doing things? (And is that spreading to more kids even today?). My female riding companion has ridden coast to coast quite a few times but always with some guy- would never go by herself and I initiate the trip schedules despite the fact that her MOA number is only a tiny fraction of mine At the smaller rallies she is invariably one of only a few women riding her own- by far the larger number are pillion.
    Have had 2 successive groups of 5 kids (family from up north) through her place in the past few weeks and not one of the kids ventured out of sight of adults/parents for even 10 seconds. When I was their age we used to just take neighbors boats out in Lake Champlain and go fishing or swim at the base of the nearby wing dam or jump off the 30 ft cliff into the water. These kids could have been potted plants for all their sense of adventure- there are boats on the dock out back, woods to explore that have everything from snakes to salamanders and places to swim and fish and even farm animals yet they preferred to watch TV..
    I've often wondered if the world is truly more frightening than it used to be or if we're simply hearing about these horrible things more often because the news cycle outlets need to keep churning out content. I tend to think the latter is the case. On the other hand, I no longer go for walks in the woods because too many single women have been found dead which is really sad because I enjoyed walking in the woods. And I am much more cautious in general now. When I'm traveling on the bike I tend to keep to myself - because of the horrible things that a few bad apple humans do to another human.

    I do find that the number of women who ride is a sliver of the riding community but the more of us who choose to ride... and talk about it!... might help to get more women to ride. It's just so much fun! And for me, it's getting more women onto BMWs that I really want because I live in a corner of the world that is heavily H-D populated.

    As a young adult I had been fascinated by motorcycles and had a whispering, quiet yearning to perhaps learn to ride. I had the good fortune to marry a man who is a passionate rider (trials, enduros.... and his beloved BMWs) and he is the one who taught me to ride; we both still ride even though we've gone our separate ways. He loaned me a trials bike and during the fall I rode that thing silly in a field in back of the house I was living in at the time and in doing so learned the controls and the feel of the accelerating and stopping of the bike. Very valuable learning. But that first ride on a public road was a real mindbender! I had never felt soooooo vulnerable in my whole life (which included sailing and a lot of skiing). I was very glad that I knew the controls of the bike because I didn't have that to worry about on that first public road ride. When it came time later in the spring to go for my road test on my tiny little Honda CM400T I was only a little bit nervous.

    My decision to learn to ride was really cemented after spending about half a season riding pillion. My thinking was that if I was going to die riding a motorcycle then, by golly, I wanted to be the one at the controls when it happened (knock on wood!). I've never regretted learning to ride.

    I count myself lucky that I have a child who wants to explore life and different things to do. I also count myself lucky that I have child who is independent and thinks independently and continues to pursue secondary education even after having graduated from college.

    Cheers, Louise

  6. #51
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    I had a similar experience with a guy that inspired me to ride. And after I spent half a season as pillion, I too decided that I would rather be on my own! And I'm glad I did go and get my license, and find my bike, because now that we went our separate ways, where would I have been without it?

    Great story, Louise. Can't wait to meet you!!
    Tonya
    2007 F800ST - Lovin' it!!

  7. #52
    Registered User DLilah's Avatar
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    I also feel fortunate that I have a husband that inspired me to ride. I was one of those women that was scared of motorcycles (even I find this hard to believe now ). But, he was insistent that he was getting a bike and just as insistent that I should take the Motorcycle Safety Class with him. After all, as he put it, he was buying a bike soon and if I wanted to spend time with him, it would be on his bike. Thank you, honey!!!

    After the first hour of the class, I told him I wanted my own. So, he bought me one a couple of days before he bought his own. Thank you again, honey!!!

    Now, I have three bikes, and although I don't ride by myself much (after all, I do want to spend time with him), it is what I love to do most in this world. And, although I understand and appreciate the viewpoints of some of the other women that have posted in this thread about women not wanting to take trips without their significant others, I would likely not take a trip without my hubby for the simple fact that we have limited vacation and have always chosen to spend it together because we truly enjoy each other's company (I know, sappy!).

    And, one of my favorite conversations with one of the Partners I work with recently went like this:

    HIM: Where are you going on vacation?

    ME: To a BMW Motorcycle Rally in Sedalia, Missouri.

    HIM: Why there?

    ME: Because we ride BMWs and want to hang out with other people who share a similar interest.

    HIM: We? You ride one, too???

    ME: Yep!

    HIM: So, do you ride your bike there? Isn't it a far ride?

    ME: Yep! It's only going to be about 6 hours. Can't wait!

    HIM: Where will you stay?

    ME: We're camping.

    HIM: How are you camping when you're riding a motorcycle? Don't you need a tent?

    ME: Yep! Will be loading the bike up with it and other stuff we'll need.

    HIM: Isn't that going to be a bit tough? That could be a heavy load.

    ME: Nope! I'll send you a photo.

    And, I sent the photo that is my profile picture and another one with a side view, and the response was:

    HIM: Wow! You are serious!

    D'Lilah
    2012 R1200GS / 2000 R1200C / 2002 Yamaha TW200

    My heart doesn't beat, it revs!!!

  8. #53
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    D'Lilah -

    LOVE THIS POST!!!
    Tonya
    2007 F800ST - Lovin' it!!

  9. #54
    Novice Adventurer Newstar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewEnglander View Post
    Yes! To the point that the ones out west supply towels to clean off your bike! Until my last trip out west I had never encountered that.
    Actually, most Holiday Inn Expresses that I've stayed at also supply them. That is one of the many reasons I choose that brand. They do tend to cater to us.

  10. #55
    Novice Adventurer Newstar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewEnglander View Post
    When I first posed the question for this thread: "Is what we do really so shocking?" I meant the "we" to be the women who ride. I did not phrase the question in a manner to convey that. My fault. "Shocking" may have been the wrong word but in the context of the question being about us women riders maybe it was right. But, the answers coming from both men and women have been educational to me - I had no idea that men got the same sorts of questions. So, I guess we are all collectively a little bit nuts in the non-riding population's thinking to be willing, and wanting!, to travel by motorcycle and see, feel and smell the world in all it's glory (yes, even the smell of the manure in the spring when the farmers spread the fertilizer). So, I guess I shouldn't be so surprised when I have conversations with non-riders and have them express such surprise at this addictive activity of mine/ours.

    vroom, vroom,

    Louise

    I've purposely avoided this thread as I've been working on an article for ON and I didn't want any outside influence in my thoughts. But much of what is discussed here is along the lines of what I was thinking and writing, including the fact that I've recently talked to men with the same feelings. On my recent solo trip, I had some time to reflect on this and that is what prompted me to write the article. I do not think we, as women, are not different in our inhibitions, just in the minority.

    I am proud to boldly go forth and happy to answer questions and offer encouragement along the way.

    Great discussion!
    Last edited by Newstar; 09-02-2012 at 01:16 PM.

  11. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by hondarider View Post
    That's funny. I'd have zero reservations about riding anywhere in Canada or the US at a moment's notice, but I admit that I have some fear about riding into South America. I read all these travelogues about folks riding from Alaska to the southern tip of South America and I'm completely jealous, but I succumb to the same fear that keeps most people within 100 miles of their homes. I suppose I'm not much better. I think it's the language barrier that intimidates me most. That and the apparent lawlessness that I see on the news. If the news about Mexico is as sensationalized as everything else that I see, my misgivings are probably without basis. I did spend 6 years working in Juarez and nothing bad ever happened despite assurances from US television that the drug cartels, crooked federales, and bandidos were going to shake me down and then do very bad things to me. Turns out that I made some great friends and had experiences far outside my New England background.
    If you haven't read them, go back to previous ON magazines and read the series of articles from Bill Hooykaas and his adventures to SA. I have the same fears based on other accounts that I've read but Bill assured me that many are sensationalized and it isn't really like that. I'm sure you still need to be aware of your surroundings but proper planning can keep you out of a dangerous location.

  12. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by hondarider View Post
    LOL. My wife is pretty adventurous, but lacks the navigation skills required to find the mall. If she were to head out on a weeklong trip, we'd never see her again. I suppose that wouldn't stop her though so I guess I worry about it more than her. She routinely drives the 180 miles to her mother's house with nothing more than exit numbers on a post it note...no map...no route numbers...no towns...no clue. She just knows to get on I-90...go to exit 11A and get on another road...then exit 7 onto another...exit 12 onto yet another...and finally exit 7 into her mother's town. She has no clue if she's driving east, west, north, or south. She doesn't know where she is on a map, what towns she's passing, virtually nothing. Just 11a...7...12...7. I asked her what she'll do if she ever get off at the wrong exit and onto the wrong road...she says she'll figure it out. I guess she's actually more adventurous than I am. I'd never leave home if I didn't know for certain that I could find my way back.

    She needa a Zumo and you need a spot tracker to see where she is!

  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by racer7 View Post
    There's a lot that's a bit sad in the OPs first post. How do we raise girls to be so fearful of doing things? (And is that spreading to more kids even today?). My female riding companion has ridden coast to coast quite a few times but always with some guy- would never go by herself and I initiate the trip schedules despite the fact that her MOA number is only a tiny fraction of mine At the smaller rallies she is invariably one of only a few women riding her own- by far the larger number are pillion.
    Have had 2 successive groups of 5 kids (family from up north) through her place in the past few weeks and not one of the kids ventured out of sight of adults/parents for even 10 seconds. When I was their age we used to just take neighbors boats out in Lake Champlain and go fishing or swim at the base of the nearby wing dam or jump off the 30 ft cliff into the water. These kids could have been potted plants for all their sense of adventure- there are boats on the dock out back, woods to explore that have everything from snakes to salamanders and places to swim and fish and even farm animals yet they preferred to watch TV..
    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
    Security does not exist in nature, nor do the
    children of men as a whole experience it.
    Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than
    exposure.

    Helen Keller

  14. #59
    Dee G flymymbz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newstar View Post
    I do not think we, as women, are not different in our inhibitions, just in the minority.
    You should see the looks I get when guys find out I not only ride motorcycles, I'm the chief wrench for our 'fleet'.

    Same goes for aviation: In a previous life, I was a corporate pilot. Company wanted us to look somewhat professional, so, black slacks, white button down shirt, stripes on the shoulders. I was at a restaurant near a small airport one afternoon, killing time. Struck up a conversation with a guy who asked why I was dressed this way. I told him I worked in aviation and had a couple hours to wait before the passengers would arrive back at the airport.

    "Oh, so you're a stewardess? I always though stewardesses wore skirts?"
    No, I'm the pilot.
    A look of shock on his face. "I had no idea they allowed women to fly airplanes".

    (No, Dee, you are not allowed to punch a hole in his chest and rip out his heart. Just smile nicely.......)
    Last edited by Newstar; 09-02-2012 at 01:15 PM. Reason: Fixed my typo in quote.
    Too damn many bikes to list

  15. #60
    I love to lurk! tvgal2000's Avatar
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    yeah, I've had those kind of questions asked of me on every overnight trip (and quite a few day trips) I've ever had the pleasure of riding... I believe that fear is the where most of those questions come from (especially from other women). Fear of the unknown, fear of machines that they don't know how they work, fear of enjoying themselves 'too' much, fear of being alone...
    Plus there's the very real experience for many women of fear of physical or sexual assault (since 1 in 4 women will/have experienced sexual assault, myself included) which contributes to the 'fear thing'.

    But I think that many people don't realize the basic goodness of 99.9% of people in the world. I currently live in Milwaukee, a fairly good size Midwestern city and have lived in New York City and Seoul, Korea and have learned to listen to my instincts about people. And most people just want to find love, avoid pain, live well and will offer help if asked. I just listen to my inner voice when I'm unsure of a situation - it's worked for me!

    But there IS a part of me that says 'yes, we ARE extraordinary women!' - we listen to our heart and do something that most people think is kinda crazy and yet, we do it over and over again - and LOVE it! How many people do that on a regular basis? That's pretty extraordinary!
    Sarah B
    Milwaukee,WI
    '09 R1200GS 'Starbuck' my big silver baby
    '13 K1600GTL Graphite Grey... yet unnamed!

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