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Thread: I'm ready for more jokes.

  1. #16
    al from chgo burbs lilredroadster's Avatar
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    For clarification, for those that don't already know, what are the guidelines?
    I have seen some pretty raunchy things on broadcast tv so that can't be it.
    We all realize that most politics and racial items are verboten, but what else? We are all supposed to be adults here. I know I will soon have to become an adult as I an nearly 65.
    Al From Chgo Burbs
    BETTERMENT THROUGH BADGERMENT

  2. #17
    2 Wheeled Troubador oldhway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilredroadster View Post
    For clarification, for those that don't already know, what are the guidelines?
    I have seen some pretty raunchy things on broadcast tv so that can't be it.
    We all realize that most politics and racial items are verboten, but what else? We are all supposed to be adults here. I know I will soon have to become an adult as I an nearly 65.
    http://www.bmwmoa.org/forum/showthread.php?t=44880

    If you look at the Campfire table of contents, the Posting guidelines are one of the stickies near the beginning.
    Steve Marquardt, 2004 R1150RT

  3. #18
    Motorcyclist patiodadio's Avatar
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    Humm.... I am starting to believe its true what the folks on other forums say.
    ________________________________________
    The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  4. #19
    look out!!! Visian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oldhway View Post
    We are adapting those guidelines somewhat to say basically if it would play on Prime Time TV, it is ok here. I rea;ize that is less strict than originally intended but we are trying to lighten up a bit here. that would be ok wouldn't it?
    have you ever watched the Family Guy?

    we went through a whole process of getting input from members before writing the guidelines. remember the Tutu rule? I think Hodag made some really good contributions.

    There have been a lot of additions to the guidelines since then, so maybe we should go through that process again?

    it's impossible to draw this line, so why get all wrapped up in it? better to give mods lots of leeway and to have their actions be as transparent as possible.

    if we had done this with the jokes thread as it grew, the precious few jokes that were on the fringe would have been deleted with an explanation as to why... and the poster would then have a better idea of the boundaries. (of course, there is only so much time in a volunteer day...)

    jmo.

    ian
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  5. #20
    sMiling Voni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patiodadio View Post
    Humm.... I am starting to believe its true what the folks on other forums say.
    They're just jealous

    Voni
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  6. #21
    sMiling Voni's Avatar
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    This would be a joke if only it weren't true.

    But, it sure did make me Laugh Out Loud!

    http://www.alpineavalanche.com/artic.../opinion03.txt

    Voni
    sMiling
    http://www.bigbend.net/users/glaves/
    Live fully. Laugh deeply. Love widely.
    BMW MOA Ambassador / FOM / Roving Forum Moderator/
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  7. #22
    Can't Grow It?? Mow it!! bullit7801's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voni View Post
    This would be a joke if only it weren't true.

    But, it sure did make me Laugh Out Loud!

    http://www.alpineavalanche.com/artic.../opinion03.txt

    Voni
    sMiling


    I especially like this: "These vandals (the deer, tb) are responsible for illegally crossing our borders carrying innumerable diseases, encouraging illegal immigration, drug running and possibly global warming. They carry dear tick fever, which causes illness among harmless ticks and the dreaded Lyme disease. (For years I thought Lyme disease was an aversion to limes, until somebody spelled it for me.)"

    tb
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  8. #23
    angysdad
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    Tom...in regards to your joke posted yesterday...

    ...what do have against lawyers?
    Just kidding.
    Someone will always be offended, regardles of how PC we try to be.

  9. #24
    Can't Grow It?? Mow it!! bullit7801's Avatar
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    My response in BLUE
    Quote Originally Posted by angysdad View Post
    Tom...in regards to your joke posted yesterday... Not MY joke, but one from the old thread I reposted.

    ...what do have against lawyers? Nothing more that anyone else. As an accountant, I get plenty of ribbing too.
    Just kidding. Me too.
    Someone will always be offended, regardles of how PC we try to be.
    And I was just trying to get the thread back to jokes. If we want a full discussion of moderation policy AGAIN, I feel that it should be in a thread with an appropriate title AND be in the Clubhouse.

    This thread is for jokes.


    tb
    Tom "Bullit" Buttars
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  10. #25
    HODAG
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    THE PREACHER conversed with Little Ole one sunny day:
    "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?"
    Ole answered, "Thank God he's in bed!"



    One day Ole was home alone when the lady next door came over.
    "Ole she said would you please do me a favor and take of my blouse for me?"
    Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her.
    "Now Ole would you please take off my skirt for me?"
    Once again Olie obliged her.
    "Ok Ole take off my panties and bra."
    Ole took the last two items off and tossed them aside his face now burning.
    She looked Ole in the eyes and said "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!"

  11. #26
    al from chgo burbs lilredroadster's Avatar
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    Fullfillment of a Dream
    A successful gynecologist decides to fulfill his life's dream: give up medical practice and become a motorcycle mechanic.

    So he gets out of the medical business and enrolls at a mechanic's seminar with BMW.

    After many weeks of training comes the final examination, taking apart and then re-assembling a randomly chosen BMW engine.

    He grabs his tools and sets to work, but soon he gets worried: while he is still working on the valve-covers, everybody else is already busy with removing the cylinder heads.

    He falls more and more behind, and as he is just starting to put it all back together, everybody else is already finished.

    He manages to put the engine back together, barely in time before the exam ends.

    Because it took him so much longer than everybody else, he goes straight to the teacher to ask how he performed.

    "Well," the teacher says, "out of one hundred possible points you scored 150." "But how is that possible?" the ex-gynecologist asks.

    "Well, it breaks down to this: You get fifty points for correctly taking the engine apart. And you get another fifty points for putting it back together perfectly." "And what did I get those additional fifty points for?"

    "For doing it all through the exhaust."
    Al From Chgo Burbs
    BETTERMENT THROUGH BADGERMENT

  12. #27
    I'd rather be riding... spanky's Avatar
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    What a REAL woman can do.....

    A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down.

    She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

    She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

    She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

    She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and

    will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible guy around.

    No wait... sorry.... I'm thinking of beer.

    It's beer that does all that.......

    Never mind.
    Regards,
    Randy
    '99 R1100R & '02 RT
    '06 K12s bumblebee

  13. #28
    Amma Holly's Avatar
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    Inner Peace

    I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

    Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclets.


    Yu haf no idr how bludy guod I feel rite now.

    Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr paece.

  14. #29
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    Very good, Holly. I had seen the joke before, but the drunkkin speelign at the end made it even better.
    Ron

    91 K75RT ABS

  15. #30
    Registered User WalterK75's Avatar
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    Alcatraz ÔÇô terrorist cat organisation
    bescattered ÔÇô your room after a cat has been in it
    caricature ÔÇô what you look like to a cat
    cat burgler ÔÇô mentally ill person who sneaks into houses and steals cats
    catabaptist ÔÇô fundamentalist cat
    catabolic ÔÇô cat breakdown with release of even more energy
    cataclysm ÔÇô sudden, violent change involving a lot of cats
    catacomb ÔÇô cat comb (It.)
    catacoustic ÔÇô study of sound effects done by cats at night
    catagenesis ÔÇô history of cat reproduction; first book of cat bible
    Catalan ÔÇô LAN for Spanish cats
    catalepsy ÔÇô condition of a cat when it sees a mouse
    Catalina ÔÇô large American car for cats
    catalogue ÔÇô list of cats
    catalyst ÔÇô intoxicated cat
    catamaran ÔÇô pleasure boat for cats
    catapult ÔÇô device for removing cats
    catarrh ÔÇô cat growling
    catastrophe ÔÇô a great cat disaster
    catatonic ÔÇô health tonic to make a cat feel better (It.)
    catbird ÔÇô a cat with a problem
    catcall ÔÇô futile effort by humans to get a cat to come
    catching ÔÇô Chinese cat
    catechism ÔÇô instructions for being a cat
    category ÔÇô horror story for cats
    catenate ÔÇô one more life to go
    catfish ÔÇô what some cats do in the home aquarium
    cat-o'-nine-tails ÔÇô instead of nine lives
    catsup ÔÇô the cat's awake and making noise for food
    cattle ÔÇô lots of cats
    cattleman ÔÇô frustrated man who tries to herd cats
    Catullus ÔÇô Roman cat
    concatenate ÔÇô combining eight cats into one
    hypercatalectic ÔÇô cat that adds extra syllables to its meow
    magnificat ÔÇô musical piece about a cat; his royal excellency the cat
    moscato ÔÇô small, blood-sucking cat
    mudcat ÔÇô all terrain cat
    piscatology ÔÇô the study of cats marking their territory
    scat ÔÇô fast cat

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