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Thread: How long?

  1. #1
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    How long?

    Received a phone call from a long time friend today. She is getting married in a week! She's been dating this man for 2.5 months. I'm happy for her...I hope that she has found her dreamboat. But really......2.5 months?

    How long was it before you took the leap with your squeeze? What made you do it?

    Inquiring minds want to know.........

  2. #2
    Registered User womanridge's Avatar
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    2 1/2 mos? Seems a bit premature, but hey, who am I to judge?
    I've fallen in LXXX in less time than that. (But it was a looooooooooooong time ago.)
    Karen Jacobs
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  3. #3
    Tina Doggett copilot's Avatar
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    Yikes.........still in the lust stage (in my humble opinion). My first marriage I was engaged after 3 months, married 9 months later. Gee, did I say "first" marriage. You are in lust for the first 6 months, then the blinders come off and you start seeing what is real.

    My sweetheart and I were engaged a whopping 3 months but we were together for over 2 years before that.

    But who am I to judge?

    Tina

  4. #4
    Registered User clowry's Avatar
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    Dave and I had known each other about 7 years before we got married, (still too young in my parents' opinions). Celebrated out 27th anniversary in August. That said, I think everybody's different. If it feels right to them, they should go for it. Nothing in life is certain, but that shouldn't stop us from living it as best we can. Just my opinion...

  5. #5
    Registered User Rod Sheridan's Avatar
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    26 years, 6 months and counting..............Rod.
    Work is the curse of the riding class

  6. #6
    MT State of mind
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    You don't have to know a person for a long time or well to decide to marry (or commit). In fact, you are fooling yourself if you think waiting some amount of time makes the difference.

    Life is a journey. We all change over time. You'll get to know each other, more, every day.

    For us, the decision to marry was literally stated as: Yeah, let's go for some history.

    23 years and counting.

    You can decide whether to get to know each other more, over the years, as the committed couple or more, over the years, as singles. The process is the same: your life is happening.

    My father finally married a widow he had been dating and living with, on and off, for something like 9 years. When they met she had two toddlers, girls. I asked him why they finally decided to get married. His answer was, "I already raised my two daughters, I didn't want to raise two more."

    I pointed out that he was the father figure for her children already. What a stupid answer.

  7. #7
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    Montana,

    Very enlightening response to my query and really made sense to me. "You can decide whether to get to know each other more, over the years, as the committed couple or more, over the years, as singles. The process is the same: your life is happening." I think the key word here is "committed". Without it there can be no moving forward.

    God knows, I've made good and bad decisions in my life....bottom line is, as you said, life continues to happen. I was married 31 years....been single 10 yrs. I guess I look at my friend who was married 25 yrs, single for 15 and think....has she given up the dream or is she just going with her gut feeling that this is it and commit? Either way, I hope it works out for her.

    Still....scary as hell! I don't take getting married lightly.

  8. #8
    Registered User redclfco's Avatar
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    Gave up counting on my fingers

    26 years in June, more coming....

  9. #9
    Braz J Brase's Avatar
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    A long time ago, 1979 I think it was, I used to hang out at a bar-pizza place. There was a cute lady working there and we went to a movie one Sunday afternoon. The next week I was in the bar and asked her if she would like to come home with me after she got off work.

    SHE'S STILL HERE!!

    John

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Brase View Post
    A long time ago, 1979 I think it was, I used to hang out at a bar-pizza place. There was a cute lady working there and we went to a movie one Sunday afternoon. The next week I was in the bar and asked her if she would like to come home with me after she got off work.

    SHE'S STILL HERE!!

    John
    Now that's cute!

  11. #11
    It is what it is. Bud's Avatar
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    Let's see. Met in Sept, 64, married in July 67 and working on our 43rd year.

    I wish I knew then what I know now.

    You make a decision, every single day, to love.

    Not lust, not infatuation, not warm fuzzies, not happily ever after. While all nice, they are not real love.

    Love is a choice we make over, and over and over.

    At least that is the view from my front porch.
    I used to post here, but now I don't.

  12. #12
    EDGEFEVER
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    I met my husband when he as 13 he is now 46 who's counting? We were married when he was 19. What a ride!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgefever View Post
    I met my husband when he as 13 he is now 46 who's counting? We were married when he was 19. What a ride!
    Edge,

    I met mine at 13, too, and married at 18. It worked for a very long time. I guess it's like SIBUD said, "Love is a choice we make over, and over and over".

    I find this thread and the input from personal experiences very enlightening. Thank you for sharing.

  14. #14
    MT State of mind
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    Quote Originally Posted by sudani View Post
    ...
    God knows, I've made good and bad decisions in my life....bottom line is, as you said, life continues to happen.
    ...Either way, I hope it works out for her.

    Still....scary as hell! I don't take getting married lightly.
    Well, I don't have one of those "OMG, you are SO made for each other!" kind of marriages. Maybe we just are doomed...uh, lucky (yeah, that's it...) to have found each other.

    We both, together and separately, have made some bad decisions in these years. The hope is, the bad decisions made by one will be counterbalanced by the other.

    I don't take getting married lightly, either. I confess to a "starter" marriage (two years or less, by definition, I believe!). I told this husband, "One of us has to die to get out of this marriage." An interesting question is to ask your friends: Would you do it again?

    Okay, this is really girly thing: I hadn't really watched Sex & The City very often, but I got into it around the time Miranda, the redhaired lawyer, met, dated, broke up with, and finally married the bartender Steve. I thought that relationship was well written and interesting. She was who she is. He counterbalanced those things.

    What really seems to make the difference is trust. Don't f**k around with someone you don't trust. Life is too short for that drama.

  15. #15
    Registered User 88bmwjeff's Avatar
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    My wife and I dated for about nine months before we lived together. I proposed after about a year of living together, and we got married about 18 months after that.

    While 2.5 months does seem short, I do think the older we get the less time it takes us to "figure out" if someone is right or wrong for us.
    Jeff in W.C.
    1988 R100 RT (the other woman)
    "I got my motorcycle jacket but I'm walking all the time." Joe Strummer

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