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Thread: funny motorcycle jokes

  1. #16
    cheesewhiz
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    Quote Originally Posted by MCMXCIVRS View Post
    Goldwing (or HD ) owners are like magpies. When they see something shiny they pick it up and bolt it to their motorcycle.
    Magpies ride motorcycles?


  2. #17
    Registered User MOTOR31's Avatar
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    Yep and they are always trying to pick up chicks on the bike too........
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  3. #18
    Old man in the mountains osbornk's Avatar
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    Stolen from Chromeheads Forum

    Raced a Harley today

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really twisting sections of a canyon road with no straight sections to speak of and where most of the curves have warning signs that say "15 MPH".

    I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

    I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and cornering. Three corners later, I was on his fender. Catching him was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

    Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but when we came out he'd get on the throttle and outpower me. His horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me more determined than ever.

    My only hope was to outbrake him. I held off squeezing the lever until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of his engine as he struggled to keep up.

    Three more miles to go before the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

    But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see him in my rear-view mirror.

    Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. though it was not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the canyon and I had preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of britiron.

    I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedalled so hard in my life. And some of the credit must go to Raleigh cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...
    __________________
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  4. #19
    belquar
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    Quote Originally Posted by osbornk View Post
    Raced a Harley today

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really twisting sections of a canyon road with no straight sections to speak of and where most of the curves have warning signs that say "15 MPH".

    I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

    I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and cornering. Three corners later, I was on his fender. Catching him was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

    Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but when we came out he'd get on the throttle and outpower me. His horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me more determined than ever.

    My only hope was to outbrake him. I held off squeezing the lever until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of his engine as he struggled to keep up.

    Three more miles to go before the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

    But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see him in my rear-view mirror.

    Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. though it was not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the canyon and I had preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of britiron.

    I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedalled so hard in my life. And some of the credit must go to Raleigh cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...
    __________________
    Ya could have stolen it from here.

  5. #20
    Rider
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    Q:I asked my Harley friend how exactly do "loud pipes save lives"
    A:His answer was "I'm sorry, what did you say"?

  6. #21
    R-1100R + 120MPH = :)) twins4life's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by osbornk View Post
    Raced a Harley today

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really twisting sections of a canyon road with no straight sections to speak of and where most of the curves have warning signs that say "15 MPH".

    I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

    I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and cornering. Three corners later, I was on his fender. Catching him was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

    Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but when we came out he'd get on the throttle and outpower me. His horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me more determined than ever.

    My only hope was to outbrake him. I held off squeezing the lever until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of his engine as he struggled to keep up.

    Three more miles to go before the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

    But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see him in my rear-view mirror.

    Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. though it was not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the canyon and I had preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of britiron.

    I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedalled so hard in my life. And some of the credit must go to Raleigh cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...
    __________________

    GREAT!!!

  7. #22
    Registered marching ant Antaeas's Avatar
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    How many jokes?

    How many BMW riders does it take to screw in an oil filter?

    - Two: one laying on the ground, preferably at a campsite; one taking photos to post.

    How many H-D riders?

    - Two: one to ask, "What's an oil filter?" and one to ask, "What, and get my new chaps dirty?"

    How many Wingnuts?

    - Two: one to remove the chrome-plated and illuminated cover on the oil filter, one to switch on the auto-replacement feature.

    How many trike riders?

    - Two: one to remove the filter while standing in a Jiffy Lube pit, one to hold up the front wheel.

    How many racers?

    - Four: a pit crew

    How many squids?

    - None: their bikes are crashed or repossessed before the filters need changing.
    Last edited by antaeas; 08-22-2007 at 01:03 AM. Reason: grammar
    Antaeas

    2005 R1200RT (Artie)

    "Can I move? I'm better when I move." - Sundance Kid (by Wm. Goldman)

  8. #23
    Rally Rat RGVILLA's Avatar
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    EXCELLENT, Esp the squid joke

    Quote Originally Posted by antaeas View Post
    How many BMW riders does it take to screw in an oil filter?

    - Two: one lying on the ground, preferably at a campsite; one taking photos to post.

    How many H-D riders?

    Two: one to ask, "What's an oil filter?" and one to ask, "What, and get my new chaps dirty?"

    How many Wingnuts?

    - Two: one to remove the chrome-plated and illuminated cover on the oil filter, one to switch on the auto-replacement feature.

    How many trike riders?

    - Two: one to remove the filter while standing in a Jiffy Lube pit, one to hold up the front wheel.

    How many racers?

    - Four: a pit crew

    How many squids?

    - None: their bikes are crashed or repossessed before the filter needs changing.

  9. #24
    Registered User Overkill's Avatar
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    Harley Definition

    Harley Definition:

    The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise without the annoying side effect of horsepower.

  10. #25
    Bikes, Guitars, and ... beemokat's Avatar
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    Motorcycle Humor Statistics

    Total of 15 jokes here, and 3 remarks, 5 of the jokes are Harley bashers and all 3 remarks as well. I'm making no judgments here, I'm one of the guilty parties with 1 harley bashing joke and 1 remark.
    This is just sad, we really need some new material!
    Wherever you go, there you are.

  11. #26
    belquar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeemoKat View Post
    Total of 15 jokes here, and 3 remarks, 5 of the jokes are Harley bashers and all 3 remarks as well. I'm making no judgments here, I'm one of the guilty parties with 1 harley bashing joke and 1 remark.
    This is just sad, we really need some new material!
    3 of them are BMW jokes.

  12. #27
    Bikes, Guitars, and ... beemokat's Avatar
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    every little bit helps

    Quote Originally Posted by Belquar View Post
    3 of them are BMW jokes.
    I'll take 'em, heck, one was from me anyway, any are better than none...etc.

    What does BMW stand for?
    Bring Money With you,
    or
    Bring Meine Wallet,
    or
    Bitch Moan Whine,
    or
    Bite My W... (pushing the envelope here, please don't ban me).
    Now there's 4, I'm sure we can come up with more.
    Wherever you go, there you are.

  13. #28
    rayadams
    Guest
    what does BSA stand for?

    British Scrap Aluminum

    Bas'terd Stalled Again

    Bloody Stinking Amal

  14. #29
    Amma Holly's Avatar
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    British bike joke

    OK, now that BSA has entered the mix:

    Why do the British drink warm beer?

    Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.
    Volunteer for the 2014 Rally in St. Paul. rallyvolunteer@bmwmoa.org

  15. #30
    Bikes, Guitars, and ... beemokat's Avatar
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    Lucas, Prince of Darkness

    What are the 3 positions of a British headlight toggle switch?
    Off, Dim, and Flicker.
    Wherever you go, there you are.

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