Two Up by Choice [Archive]

tourunigo

12-11-2005, 04:02 PM

Mika

12-11-2005, 06:40 PM

The former Mrs. M1ka and I took many camping touring trips and enjoyed them. Much as you describe the duties worked out between the two of us and overall the experience was very good. We did not like the time on the bike however. We are both tall and we were never as comfortable as we would have liked. If there had been a long run I think we would have found a second bike as she did like to ride.

I have toured in groups. The trips were of various lengths from short to very long. I learned from them that I liked motorcycling touring very much but not in groups like that. I have traveled with others and done fine but that was not on a bike.

I have done a great deal of solo touring and really like it. I have had the good fortune to be able to take extended tours by myself and have come back looking forward to planning the next one. I will take off for an overnight without a second thought.

If I ever find a SO she will have to be a rider or understand my love for touring and let me go. With the right partner touring is fun. With the wrong one it is not worth it.

SNC1923

12-11-2005, 07:05 PM

My wife had never done any touring, and I had only minimal experience, when we hopped on our newish RT and headed to Colorado (from north of Los Angeles) for a two-week tour of the southwest. We loved it, and in spite of heat, a bald tire and bad battery, and miles and miles in the saddle, I heard not one complaint from the pillion. Had a wonderful trip and are hoping to do something similar this summer.

A report of our Colorado Oddysey appears here (http://www.bmwmoa.org/forum/showthread.php?t=6920&highlight=Colorado+Odyssey)

tourunigo

12-11-2005, 09:43 PM

Wonderful pics. Thanks. We think that two-up can build relationships or, of course, painfully draw out all those underlying gremlins of dispair in the relationship. It appears that the two of you already have a harmony which mc travel has enhanced. Most of us know,of course, that disharmony can be worse than the longest, baddest Iron Butt imaginable! :fight Been there;love here. :love

larrylarry75

12-26-2005, 09:13 PM

:buds It was her first real tour, this 12,000 miles in 2001. A retirement trip for the old /5. Two up and loaded with braking an after-thought. A great prep story and a few adventures but, to the point of this thread, we have become interested in the whole notion of 'two-up by choice' touring since a workshop at the Redmond rally.

Through group discussion, in this workshop, we indicated that we were on this 12,000 mile adventure only months into our relationship and that we were loving every minute of the trip. Duties 'evolved' rather than assigned/planned. Even those 14 hour days didn't seem to faze us. Relationship building? Certainly. Camping with the 'Do What You Want' Black Sheep and winning the long-distance two-up award further inspired our enthusiasm. :beer

Point of this thread: we would like to know how others feel and/or have experienced ( pro and con ) touring two-up. We never travel in a group and Bob always rode solo and not in a group before this pilot/co-pilot arrangement. Changes for both. :hug -Bob and Mary

:wave It does me good to read about your trip and relationship. Maybe you can offer some sage advice. My partner - retired special ed school teacher - doesn't ride. Two of her dearest friends were killed on a motorcycle several years before she and I met and she's never got over it. I love her dearly, we've been together several years now, and as you may have guessed, I'm a biker. I love to tour or even just go for short rides but she's afraid. She's gone for a number of short rides (50 miles) with me on various bikes and although she says she's OK (with a back rest in place) she's not ready for long-distance touring. Given her background fears I understand but I'm wondering if you or any of your friends have been able to resolve similar issues? I should clarify that she has no objections to my going on tours by myself but I'd really like to share them with her (only if she truly enjoyed herself). As far as traveling together, we've gone on several multi-week non-bike vacations and had a great time. Does this sound too much like "Dear Abby"? Sorry if it does, but it's of importance to me and I'd value your input. Thanks!
Larry

larrylarry75

12-26-2005, 09:21 PM

:buds It was her first real tour, this 12,000 miles in 2001. A retirement trip for the old /5. Two up and loaded with braking an after-thought. A great prep story and a few adventures but, to the point of this thread, we have become interested in the whole notion of 'two-up by choice' touring since a workshop at the Redmond rally.

Through group discussion, in this workshop, we indicated that we were on this 12,000 mile adventure only months into our relationship and that we were loving every minute of the trip. Duties 'evolved' rather than assigned/planned. Even those 14 hour days didn't seem to faze us. Relationship building? Certainly. Camping with the 'Do What You Want' Black Sheep and winning the long-distance two-up award further inspired our enthusiasm. :beer

Point of this thread: we would like to know how others feel and/or have experienced ( pro and con ) touring two-up. We never travel in a group and Bob always rode solo and not in a group before this pilot/co-pilot arrangement. Changes for both. :hug -Bob and Mary

:wave It does me good to read about your trip and relationship. Maybe you can offer some sage advice. My partner - retired special ed school teacher - doesn't ride. Two of her dearest friends were killed on a motorcycle several years before she and I met and she's never gotten over it. I love her dearly, we've been together several years now, and as you may have guessed, I'm a biker. I love to tour or even just go for short rides but she's afraid. She's gone for a number of short rides (50 miles) with me on various bikes and although she says she's OK (with a back rest in place) she's not ready for long-distance touring. Given her background fears I understand but I'm wondering if you or any of your friends have been able to resolve similar issues? I should clarify that she has no objections to my going on tours by myself but I'd really like to share them with her (only if she truly enjoyed herself). As far as traveling together, we've gone on several multi-week non-bike vacations and had a great time. Does this sound too much like "Dear Abby"? Sorry if it does, but it's of importance to me and I'd value your input. Thanks!
Larry

John Brase

12-27-2005, 08:39 AM

I once had a girlfriend. She had the personality of a snapping turtle. But, that's another story.

She wouldn't get on the bike under any circumstance. I wanted to take a ten day tour through upstate N.Y. and part of Canada. She wanted to go along but not on that damned motor-thing. So she went in her car (a BMW convertable) and I went on the bike. Goofy concept. But it actually worked. We got to experience all the toury stuff together, all the stops, the meals, the overnights. When we went to a watering hole in the evening the car was there to help us back to the motel. The luggage went in the car so the bike was not loaded down and ungainly. You might consider something like this with Mrs. Larry. Buying her a BMW convertable might help.

Then I had this other girlfriend. She loved touring on the bike. I married her. Since then she has gotten old. I don't know how she got old while I didn't. Of course, when she comments on that phenomenon she uses the term, "grew up." Whatever. She can't ride more than about 50 miles at a time now without experiencing pain so I'm in solo touring mode and I actually prefer it. Having someone on the back is distracting to me. I find that everything I do on the bike is done so as not to disturb the passenger and I can't ride my own ride. All my throttle, brake and turning inputs are attenuated and I think I actually end up riding badly. Maybe I'm just too sensitive and should go out and get one of those shirts that read, "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."

Or not.

John

Rich

12-27-2005, 09:45 AM

Then I had this other girlfriend. She loved touring on the bike. I married her. Since then she has gotten old. I don't know how she got old while I didn't. Of course, when she comments on that phenomenon she uses the term, "grew up." Whatever. John

Sounds about like my situation. When we first married, my wife and I rode quite a bit together, and I think back then she actually enjoyed it. Over the years it has gotten to be less and less. She has absolutely no problems with me taking off whenever I want, she knows I am hooked and will never give up motorcycling. We have a great marriage and relationship, it's just that she doesn't always enjoy the same things I do, and that works out for us. I guess I don't exactly share the passion for some of the things she does either, so it all works out in the end.

I've run into so many guys at a gas station that have walked up to me and start talking motorcycles, and they proceed to tell me how they used to ride once, but had to sell the bike when they got married. Haven't ridden since, they say. So I count myself really lucky that I have a wife that understands my need to ride, and has no problems with it.

To all you guys that have a SO that rides with you either solo or two up, enjoy it and do your best to insure they enjoy it too, you have something that makes the rest of us jealous.

Although I'm not complaining. I haven't had to sell my bike! :thumb And she still loves me to death. 25 years later.

iRene

12-27-2005, 01:23 PM

Geez, I met this guy and he introduced me to the BMW riders, and now I
have my own bike and touring plans and often, if he's free, he comes along.

I like the idea of the stick-on mirror on the back of the pilot's helmet,
I wish I had thought to do that before I gave up riding on back.

tourunigo

12-27-2005, 05:30 PM

:wave It does me good to read about your trip and relationship. Maybe you can offer some sage advice. My partner - retired special ed school teacher - doesn't ride. Two of her dearest friends were killed on a motorcycle several years before she and I met and she's never gotten over it. I love her dearly, we've been together several years now, and as you may have guessed, I'm a biker. I love to tour or even just go for short rides but she's afraid. She's gone for a number of short rides (50 miles) with me on various bikes and although she says she's OK (with a back rest in place) she's not ready for long-distance touring. Given her background fears I understand but I'm wondering if you or any of your friends have been able to resolve similar issues? I should clarify that she has no objections to my going on tours by myself but I'd really like to share them with her (only if she truly enjoyed herself). As far as traveling together, we've gone on several multi-week non-bike vacations and had a great time. Does this sound too much like "Dear Abby"? Sorry if it does, but it's of importance to me and I'd value your input. Thanks!
Larry

:type That's a heavy question Larry. Read it this morning and wanted to give it some thought. However, that is not to assume that 'sage advice' follows. I have two incident reflections: One, I have essentially been a lone traveller...no passenger/no groups. In 1998 I was sitting beside my tent at the Missoula rally watching the moon between two mountains. It was one of those 'learning moments'. I told myself that this was the last time alone because I really wanted to share that moment...not just take a picture for later show 'n' tell. Two, a number of times I have been in discussion with guys travelling alone and when asked about SO their voice falls away enough to betray their feelings. The point of this whole thread was to give some equal time to the many who enjoy (or would like to enjoy) travel with SO. Yes, it changes HOW you ride and it can sometimes compromise some things but, and I can only really speak for us, it tends to provide some 'value added' things like planning (winter project), shared tasks, differing perception of the same event and, the ability to disect all that video and those pictures. Reliving is a grand adventure in itself.

Knowing the depth of your wife's response to the death of her friends is, of course, impossible for me to see. The response is not unlike most of us however. I have had the opportunity to take a number of people for rides who were very much afraid of the bike. Most were frightened by some idiot who wanted to show how fast and fearless they were. My approach has been to discuss exactly (in my view) what a motorcycle is. How it works. Why you don't "fall off" (....uh....except when I hit that Buick!). Why you should never, ever lean opposite or put your legs out. And, look over my shoulder in the direction of the curve (better view too). Other bits and pieces of course but mostly information and attempting to develop their trust in my ability to bring them back safe. Slow stuff in a parking lot can help. However, your wife is past this stage because she has those 50 mile runs (albeit with a bit of anxiety). Maybe it's like the anxiety many of her Special Education students had as they moved into new territory and/or away from a difficult life. Just a thought.

I doubt that the fear will really go away. My wife's attitude is: "what can I do anyway" (she really does trust that I will bring about a safe landing). She has assumed the role of a co pilot (having mirrors and a talking system ....which I have slowly come to not only accept but also enjoy). Now that's a point I suppose. Having the ability to communicate has a calming affect. Of course there are many situations where silence is not only golden but downright required. But the point is, this little device may be a key in desensitizing some of the anxiety. So, essentially she has become part of the overall operation (not just packing/unpacking stuff).

Larry, I doubt that no matter how much I am able to write I would continually fall short of that "sage advice". Anxiety in any situation tends to be difficult to reduce. Sometimes the harder one tries the more evasive the resolution. Maybe revisiting what happened to her friends (like a debriefing I suppose) could help. You, like most of us, work hard to imagine senarios and mentally prepare avoidance action. Maybe your wife's friends were in a circumstance not prepared for. What is it that makes being on a trip with you so different that her friends? We could go on and on with such inquiry but it's questions like that that come to me.

Anyway, I'll let y'all go from my musing. Hope a word or two hits home. -Bob

kbasa

12-27-2005, 08:53 PM

Tina and I have been riding together for a couple decades now and it remains one of the great joys of our life.

A couple years ago, she followed me to Spokane in her car. I thought it would be a pain in the ass, but it actually worked out pretty well. She carried her stuff in the car and we met up throughout the day. Sometimes, she'd be behind me, other times, I'd be out there alone in front by quite a ways. We'd stop and shoot the breeze and look at the sights and stuff. It actually worked out pretty well.

When we got to the rally, she'd brought along her riding stuff, so we were able to take a couple rides together.

For that year, it really worked out well. Would something like this work for you guys?

I know a guy that has a wife that doesn't ride, so they tour with him on his bike and her in her Miata. They really enjoy it.

tourunigo

12-27-2005, 10:09 PM

sounds like an attractive option Dave. Maybe a communicator as well...yes?...no? :dunno -Bob

larrylarry75

12-28-2005, 01:02 AM

Thanks to all of you for your valuable input, I appreciate all that you've offered. One of the things suggested was for me to ride the bike and her to drive her own vehicle. Interestingly enough Linda had already suggested that very concept but I rejected it out of hand thinking it would make my ride too restrictive. Now that I've heard from a couple of you who did just that I may have to rethink that whole approach. She and I travel together so well and enjoy our adventures so much it just might work for us. In fact, we might even drag a bike trailer along for those times when weather gets to be intolerable or I just get pooped with riding. In any event, it's worth consideration and since she's already willing what more could I ask? Thanks again everyone, much appreciated!

Larry :nod

Slablog

01-01-2006, 04:23 PM

When I got my bike three years ago and started riding again after almost 18 years without a bike, my wife thought for sure it was going to take me "away" from her, and our marriage (2nd for us both) would go downhill from there.

That very thing did indeed happen! There were lots of other factors in the scenario also. But I found I really loved touring. I rode out to Los Angeles the first summer to visit my daughter. The next summer I rode with a couple of buddies all the way up to Spokane to the rally. The marriage did end. But there's a happy ending afterwards!

This past June we each made some concessions and a few changes here and there, and got married AGAIN! She knows how much the motorcycling/touring means to me and she had always enjoyed riding pillion sometimes, but not for long tours.

Last month she took the MSF beginning riders course and passed with flying colors. We got her a new little Suzuki Savage bike to learn on and she is becoming as addicted as I am. It is really nice to see her all excited about going out to ride some. I don't know if she will ever be able to or want to ride the distances to faraway rallys, but there's a possibility, with the proper gear and enough stops, etc.

Two-Up? I don't know about that. I have to agree with another poster above somewhere. Two-Up seemed to take something away from the experience and made it more difficult to ride. Not always, but sometimes. So for us both to have a bike and ride together will be, to me, much nicer.

DARRYL CAINEY

01-02-2006, 06:51 AM

We have been riding two-up for twenty+ years and I can't imagine it any other way! We have the signals worked out for comminication that works fine. We tried the Communicator thing for one trip, didn't like it!
Towing a Bushtec Trailer behind a 1977 R100RS for 14 years has made packing a breeze and takes the weight off the bike. 410,000 miles and still going strong!
Good luck, see you at some Rallies!

Belg

01-02-2006, 04:36 PM

I know a guy that has a wife that doesn't ride, so they tour with him on his bike and her in her Miata. They really enjoy it.

Keyword there: Miata... if I ever, ever lose the stones to Ride, that car and I are gonna have a lot of fun. I've had the benefit of taking a few test course rides in one on various tires from stock to racing slick. Damn, if there were ever a car trying to be a motorcycle... it's that one.

I'm probably pre-inhereting a first year miata next summer, if my stepdad's still feeling too sore getting in and out of it... muahahaha.

I think your friends are positivley brilliant for splitting it up that way. That's one of the best ways I've ever heard of to involve a non-riding S.O. in your favorite sport (after hockey)

John Brase

01-02-2006, 08:52 PM

That's one of the best ways I've ever heard of to involve a non-riding S.O. in your favorite sport (after hockey)

I know that joke. It is not appropriate in a family forum. ;)

But it made me laugh.

John

Dolph

01-17-2006, 10:59 PM

My wife and I have been riding and touring two up for over thirty years. We did a three week new Zealand tour in Feb 05 and a nine state trip of over six thousand miles last fall including the Curve Cowboy Reunion. had a wonderful time. Fortunately while we have grown older we haven't "grown up". Our children are now older than we are.
If you want to see pics of the ride thay are at http://web.mac.com/dmccranie/iWeb
enjoy
Dolph

tourunigo

01-18-2006, 02:39 PM