Best practical joke ever?

[basketcase]

Reading the "customer service" thread gave me a laugh, and reminded me of a tale I heard recently.

A friend was talking about his son & daughter, and told about the son sneaking around and having a copy made of the daughter's carkey. Then, she would be a work at a local retail store at the mall, and he would come by and move her car in the parking lot.

Until the daughter figured out what was going on and then laid a trap and caught him, she thought she was going bonkers. They never told the parents, until the son got married and the daughter told off on him to his new bride! (Payback, you know?)

Oh my -- I know both of the kids, and I laughed until I hurt.

What is the best practical joke you've pulled, or had pulled on you?

That is, if you have the cajones (literally, or figuratively speaking) to tell it! :brow

[boofer]

Back in the day, myself and two friends liked to go out and shoot some pool. My grandmother was blind and we would take one of her canes and head off to a bar for some fun. My one buddy was great at "playing" a blind guy, so I would line up his shots for him as he played the other. After he won a few games, and the gathering crowd was impressed with his ability to follow direction, we would suggest a game for some cash.

Right off the batt, I would line up his shots obviously wrong each and every time. He would just smile and get his butt kicked, pay up and ask for a rematch.............untill the crowd started to get ugly. :wave

Tim

[BradfordBenn]

So I was on a business trip, about two weeks straight, and you know how there is one guy who just is annoying. It had snowed overnight and there was probably about five or six inches of accumulation. So what "the receiver" did was go outside, start his rental car, sweep it off, then go back in to hotel to return the broom he had used.

Well I saw my opportunity, so I opened the passenger door pressed the lock button and closed the door. I then got into the minivan next to it with everyone else and just played dumb. It is great to have three "alibis" that I was just sitting there waiting for everyone. Two years later, it still gets a laugh when people tell the story and no one has ratted me out.

[manicmechanic]

Some friends of mine were getting married. During the ceremony the bride's brother and I went outside and proceeded to jack up the rear of the car "just a little", place stands under the axle, so the wheels were just offthe ground. As we were busy the ceremony ended and the whole church started walking by us. Of course we'd noticed they had a flat and were changing it. We then hid the jack in somebody else's car, and the keys to their car in the least obvious place - the bride's purse. As things progressed, and they finally got going, they headed for their weekend honeymoon. They woke up the next morning and the tire we supposedly had changed was flat, but we had absolutely nothing to do with it!

[RedBeemer]

Pass out lottery tickets that are good for $20,000 to $50,000 IF you can get the claim form from Santa Clause, and get the Tooth Fairy to validate it.
One of my co-workers was just a little irked with another "worker" and said he would like to fill his coat pocket with greese and being as how I did not care too much for this "worker" either, filled the pocket with moly-lube ...which the "worker" put a $50 bounty to find out who did it..and no one ever collected.

[MechanicSavant]

One of the shops I worked in had a shop a-hole who loved to steal food from your area,especialy if chocolate was involved....Sooooo one day I took a pack of ring-dings carefully razored open the pkg. & spread the bottoms w/ex-lax ,my cruelty didn't end there...I then went to the head and removed all the TP except for one roll , which I unrolled about 3ft. of ,crumbled some fiberglass insulation over and carefully rolled up & put on the holder!!! :doh

[CJM]

Are you related to Eddie Haskel?


MTBATP

[paulsibek]

I boughtone ofthose "oil leak" plastic thingys from Aero Stitch.

Next weekend at the Willow Springs Vintage Racing I plan to put it under my friend's showroom R75 /5...

We'll see if he bites, I'l let you know.

When I was a kid I saw a movie (I forget the name) about a kid and his dad who were playing a trick on an obnoxious neighbor. The neighbor bought a VW Bug and constantly bragged about the gas mileage. The dad and kid would sneak out at night and add gas to his tank so that he was getting over 100 mpg...

[Bob_M]

One that was done to me when I was in college, I lived in a Garage apartment, that was basically one big room. I got home from my night job at around 3:00am to find that someone had broken into the room, and rearranged the furniture, the art, everything, so that the room was a mirror image of how I left it. It was a both amusing, and disturbing.

I got the snake from Aerostitch and put it under a guys desk at work. He lept up and let forth a full gut man-scream

The best ever I heard of on the Click & Clack radio show. a guy took a vacation. His buddies were craftsmen in the construction trades, and they drywalled over the door of his apartment. Painted to match, and made the room dissapear. When the guy got back and called them, the claimed they had never heard of him :thumb

[Gnome]

At my friends wedding me and another acomplice opened up the hood on the Groom's 1974 Pontiac Lemans Sport Coupe Honey Moon ride and laid sardines on the manifold.

[gambrinus]

A funny / cruel trick we played on the new guys in my Army unit.... Before a jump someone would put veggie soup in a ziplock bag and hide it under their BDU top. During the flight this person(sitting next to or across from the newbie) would feign sickness and "puke" into their helmet. Actually just dumping the soup when the newbie looked away. The joke gets good when someone else grabs the helmet full of "puke" and drinks it.... MOST newbies will then puke all over themselves.


RW

2/505 PIR
82d Abn Div
85-89

[1flyer]

Gambrinus,

Our Loadmasters used to pull that trick when we'd be doing drops up at Pope AFB/Ft. Bragg.

Once, we got a load of Marines all trying to act like they were tough and the Loads were taking a lot of S--t from them. After a while the AC asked if anyone had any Dramiden (SP?) in their helmet bags. "Use it if you need it" he said. Then, he started kicking the rudder left and right and we sort of sashayed our way down the airway. A couple minutes of that and it got real quiet in the back. Didn't have any more trouble from them and they even cleaned up their own mess.

[RTRandy]

I heard of someone who taped the beginning of the nightly news where they show the lottery balls being picked one at a time. He then purchased several lottery tickets including one with the same winning numbers. He gave the winning ticket to a friend while others had the other tickets.

The following week while everyone was there, he then pushed the play button of the taped drawing as if they was turning on the TV to watch it live.

[moa84843]

There is a line of small 4 to 6 foot pine trees leading up to my office building. Two years ago, just before christmas I purchased the bottom two feet of a 6 foot christmas tree. At the end of the line of pine trees, leading up to the office, I placed a circle of wood chips. Then attached the pine tree bottom to a small stake I had driven into the ground. The best part was it snowed that night. By summer the mowing service was mowing around the totally brown fake tree.

[einnar]

I went to M$U (Michigan State) back when common source meant the Resident Assistant was the host of the floor progressive. A year after I got there, the administration decided to outlaw all common sources, progressives, etc.. and really crack down. That was also the same year that Coors started making the party balls. (About 2.5 gallons of beer per ball).

They came packaged in boxes, and didn't resemble anything like beer at all, so when you were coming in with a laundry cart filled with stuff from home, smuggling these in was easy. End of the first semester we had about 15-20 of them stored in our room on the loft, and had painted them with all sorts of christmas designs.

Short loop of rope on each one for a hanger, a piece of 10' conduit with a bent coathanger at the end to help hold the loop open, and we were 'decorating' the tree late one night outside the college president's quarters.

We'd added big stringers to resemble tinsel, and garlands, and a lot of people watched us and admired our 'creativity'... until 2 days later someone realized we'd hung a bunch of mini-kegs on the tree.

[basketcase]

Wow! The creativity revealed in this thread is helping restore my faith in the future of America! :brow

Personally, I was reared in a huge (extended) family of practical jokers who have refined the activity to a high art. It is, as the saying goes, "the family tradition." And I've not yet decided which of mine to post.

Truth be told, one of my nephews (Air Force) presently holds the award for most outrageous ever.

Decisions, decisions ...

[CJM]

When we lived in Charleston, SC one of the guys at work was always complaining about the bolts on car batteries corroding from the acid build-up.
So we gave him some stainless steel bolts.

A couple of months later he came in late. Said his car wouldn't start due to the battery terminals having an insulated layer between the post and clamp.
This went on for about a year before someone ratted us out!

Funny thing about stainless and lead touching each other!! :clap

MTBATP

[einnar]

I have to give my dad credit for the best joke ever.

My family immigrated from Sweden in my grandfathers generation. As such, dad was brought up rather european, with a lot of scandinavian traditions. When I was born (first kid to my parents), they had the usual argument about names. Dad wanted to do something 'traditional', like einnar (thus the forum name), gunnar, benkt, etc... Mom wouldn't have any part of it, saying it had to be rather more generic and american, or we'd be picked on growing up. They eventually decided on Jon.

Same argument, 3.5 years later, with my brother. Same names brought up by dad, same counter by mom... Has to be generic, and american... Little bro was monnikered 'Erik'...

I don't know how many times I heard this story growing up, especially during family reunions. A light went on when I was about 27 at one, and I asked him if his infectious, well known sense of humor had played out in the naming of us 2. Jon... Erik.... Generic.... Together, a jonerik generic....

He just got that 'caught me with the goods' grin on his face we've always seen when we catch him pulling a prank, and said 'that only took 27 years to be found out', and walked away.

Dad let mom win, but had the final laugh in the end.

[amiles]

Whille in the Army many years ago, one fellow in particular would come in drunk late & make a nuisance of himself. He was well liked otherwise so no one wanted to do anything too negative to him.

One night while he was out, his bed was short sheeted. When he returned as usual the tricked up bed really had him stymied. We had more noise out of him than usual whining about what could be wrong with his bed. This trick was played several times & the poor drunk never did get wise.

[Pat Carol]

I like to get our new firefighters a cup of coffee. It makes them feel special when the Captain gets them a coffee. They do not notice the shoe polish on the rim of that shiny black coffee cup. They drink the coffee and have two black lines at each end of their mouth.
Then after that I tell the rookie that the Chief wants him to report to his office immediately. Man ! that always gets a good laugh.
I also like to poke small holes in the styrofoam coffee cups when the Chief has some big wig from the city or county visiting the house. I am the practical joker in the firehouse.
Now always remember. Be prepared for payback's. The boy's have gotten me back several times through the years.

[CJM]

I like to get our new firefighters a cup of coffee. It makes them feel special when the Captain gets them a coffee. They do not notice the shoe polish on the rim of that shiny black coffee cup. They drink the coffee and have two black lines at each end of their mouth.
Then after that I tell the rookie that the Chief wants him to report to his office immediately. Man ! that always gets a good laugh.
I also like to poke small holes in the styrofoam coffee cups when the Chief has some big wig from the city or county visiting the house. I am the practical joker in the firehouse.
Now always remember. Be prepared for payback's. The boy's have gotten me back several times through the years.
Ah yes....To quote an old Navy buddy:

:clap "PAYBACK IS A BITCH" :clap



MTBATP

[MCMXCIVRS]

I too am a firefighter, and I've seen and pulled many practical jokes over the years. Once I set up a birthday suprise for a rookie. I rigged his locker with a water catapult that I built. Basically it's a spring loaded device that fires about a half litre of water out when the locker door is opened. I had to take the screws out of the hinges to get into his locker, since he was wary of pranks and had locked things up. I set the catapult up and filled it, then replaced the door so it appeared as nothing was out of place. When he opened the locker the catapult tripped with a bang, and he grabbed his chest felt the water soaking his shirt and though it was blood. He thought he'd been shot. Of course the rest of the crew nearly died laughing. The catapult made its way into many lockers and cupboards in several stations after that. I think everyone on the job was opening their doors while standing well to one side out of range for quite some time.

[einnar]

The corollary to that is :

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

[einnar]

We had a device like your water cannon, but a bit different.

Took a 18" length of surgical tubing, and clamped one end closed. We then filled it with water, bloating it up like a big sausage. Had a pressure cuff on the other end to give us a few inches of 'not inflated' tubing. Past this, we took a Plastic soda cap with a hole drilled in it, a paperclip through it, and put this over the folded end we'd filled through.

We could place this just about anywhere with a quick slap of duct tape, and could fine tune the aim with a bit more tape on the nozzle if needs be.. Bit of fishline attached to the paperclip, and run through a touch more tape to turn the vertical pin into a horizontal pull, and we had a tripline with about 1/3 - 1/4 gal of water in it.

We got fancy later, and put a bit of flexible steel tubing in place of the pressure cuff, and that made aiming even easier.

Had guys in college who'd open their door in the morning, and wave a golf club, bat, etc in the opening out of paranoia. (The lights were mostly disabled all the time anyway.. it was that kind of floor.)

I had more devious devices, but was careful what I used. I got a professional education in IEDs in the Marines, and wasn't too keen on opening too many eyes on what can be done with household parts. The water bomb was great, though... We hid it on walls near doors (outside), under pull out loungers (like a couch that becomes a bed) such that you'd get sprayed when you opened it. We even put one once in a suite bathroom such that you got hosed when you lifted the lid.

I had a good upbringing, but bad rolemodels after the age of 18... :)

(Some college students are hard to teach anything, believe it or not... but "don't start a practical joke war with someone with professional training" eventually sunk in. Especially when I ask not to be included, and after the first time as victim state that if I'm dragged into this, it'll be no-holds-barred..)

[The_Veg]

I recall some army buddies getting into a prank-war in Germany. I was the double-agent, helping each of two guys set things up on each other. One of the guys was my roommate. I let the other guy into the room, where he removed my roommate's pillow from the case and replaced it with a plastic bag filled with shaving cream and not really held closed. When my roommate went to bed he had quick enough reflexes to know as soon as his head barely touched the pillow that something was wrong. He shot up and investigated. I spilled the beans and suggested he go give payback to the other guy. He did so and found that the dumbass had left his door unlocked. My roomie snuck very quietly into the room, raised the foamy bag over the prankster's sleeping face, and shouted "MERRY F*CKING CHRISTMAS!!!" as he slammed the bag home.
And when I was in signal school I heard tales of instructors taping a very charged capacitor to the back of a dollar bill then leaving it on the floor. They stopped doing it by the time I was there due to regs about not hurting trainees.

[MCMXCIVRS]

And when I was in signal school I heard tales of instructors taping a very charged capacitor to the back of a dollar bill then leaving it on the floor. They stopped doing it by the time I was there due to regs about not hurting trainees.

That reminds me of a story another firefighter told about one fellow many years back. Apparently he soldered a quarter to a nail and pounded it into the pavement outside the front door of the station. Then he'd sit and watch people try to pick it up.

And another who tied a bill to a fishing line and would reel it in as they tried to grab it.

[Bob_M]

Back in the day I worked on fishing boats. We had this kid on board who was green and naive. We were sitting around the kitchen table after work and sheepishly he volunteers that he needs advice on how to address a crab louse infestation. I proceeded into an explanation of the life history of the crab louse and worked into a summary that the only way to get rid of them is to shave the area. Everyone else at the table had to leave because they couldn't contain their laughter. About an hour later the kid returned and I asked him is he did the deed. "You can just call me Chief Lone Pine" he replied. (actually that can help get rid of crabs, but less drastic and intimate methods are preferable) :D

[amiles]

I was holding this one back for fear of the doghouse, but what the heck.

Patrolman very angry with Chief over numerous mistreatments. Chief would hang his trenchcoat in main part of station which had lots of foot traffic.

Patrolman would place Ivory Liquid Detergent in condoms and place them in Chief's pockets for him to find in hopefully embarassing situations.

Never did hear of any amusing consequences for the chief. Chief started hanging his coat elsewhere. Other tricks commenced.

I suppose that these days a very expensive DNA test might be done in a fruitless investigation.

[subvet]

Back in my Navy days we had a bunch:

We'd have scheduled drills a couple times/week while at sea. The night before drills, we'd pick one of the new guys dungarees and sew one pant-leg shut at the knee. Great fun watching a half-asleep guy trying to jump into his pants, have his foot stop half-way and watch him tip over and hit the deck.

Convincing one of the new guys he'd been selected for the honor of snagging the "mail-bouy" and then watching him run around waking people up to gather letters/stamps/etc....in his excitement, he'd forget we are ON A SUBMARINE!!!

Getting the honor of firing the torpedo tube.....this honor comes w. the responsibility of cleaning the tube afterward. Then your "shipmates" lock you in the damn thing!! DAMHIK There's a submarine legend about this happening to a guy....typical torpedo tube is 21" in diameter and 21' long....they say the guy went in head-first and when they opened the door to let him out, he came out head-first. :-)

[CJM]

Back in my Navy days we had a bunch:

We'd have scheduled drills a couple times/week while at sea. The night before drills, we'd pick one of the new guys dungarees and sew one pant-leg shut at the knee. Great fun watching a half-asleep guy trying to jump into his pants, have his foot stop half-way and watch him tip over and hit the deck.

Convincing one of the new guys he'd been selected for the honor of snagging the "mail-bouy" and then watching him run around waking people up to gather letters/stamps/etc....in his excitement, he'd forget we are ON A SUBMARINE!!!

Getting the honor of firing the torpedo tube.....this honor comes w. the responsibility of cleaning the tube afterward. Then your "shipmates" lock you in the damn thing!! DAMHIK There's a submarine legend about this happening to a guy....typical torpedo tube is 21" in diameter and 21' long....they say the guy went in head-first and when they opened the door to let him out, he came out head-first. :-)

Along the vein of sub jokes....while crossing the Cooper River Bridge to Mt. Pleasant back when subs were in Charleston I noticed a 'boomer' headed to sea. As it turned out I took particular notice of the number on the sail, when I looked back at the sub from the port side, it was a different number! Guess the Russians thought two 'boomers' were leaving that day.


MTBATP

[IronMike]

We had a college kid working vacations. He ate like a horse. So we used a syringe and loaded his packaged Twinkies with horseradish. As he opened the package, we were all snickering in anticipation... He then shoved the whole thing in his mouth and it was gone. He never made a face or said a thing. He had swallowed it whole and never tasted it!!! He never did figure out why we were all rolling on the floor laughing.

Occasionally, when a group of ultralight flyers would collect up at some grass strip to fly and socialize, we would drop a nut or bolt on the ground right where they would stand to get into their plane. Then we would watch them spend an hour trying to figure out where it came from because they sure weren't going to leave until they did!!!

[flash412]

One evening at a work-related party, I got a handful of rice from our host's kitchen and put it under a not-so-bright co-worker's Yamaha. Then I found him and told him that I thought his bike might be leaking since there was a puddle of something under it. He looked pretty paniced as he rushed to have a look. The funny thing was that he immediately recognized it as rice, but didn't realize it was a joke. He examined the undercarriage of the bike in an attempt to discover the source of the rice. Finally, I told him it was a joke. When he said he didn't get it, I explained to him that sometimes Japanese motorcycles are called "rice burners." Then he got it. He smiled and said, "Paybacks are hell."

When I went to leave the party a couple hours later... there was a can of saurkraut under my R80G/S.

[jshuck]

we had a guy who had just bought a new economy car and he could not stop talked about how great it was and what super gas mileage he was getting. Each day, we would go out and put a gallon of gas in his car. At the end of the week we asked him at lunch how the gas mileage was in the new car. He looked puzzled and said, You guys are not going to believe this, but this car is getting 125 miles per gallon....!!" Really??

In the frat house, we all slept in one big room...the cold dorm. There was one guy who would come in late, snore and fart all night and just make a pest of himself. We had a tape of a freight train whistle, so we got at the foot of his bed...played the tape and turned on a big flash light. When he jerked up we hit him in the face with a pillow. He peed all over himself.

[CJM]

we had a guy who had just bought a new economy car and he could not stop talked about how great it was and what super gas mileage he was getting. Each day, we would go out and put a gallon of gas in his car. At the end of the week we asked him at lunch how the gas mileage was in the new car. He looked puzzled and said, You guys are not going to believe this, but this car is getting 125 miles per gallon....!!" Really??

In the frat house, we all slept in one big room...the cold dorm. There was one guy who would come in late, snore and fart all night and just make a pest of himself. We had a tape of a freight train whistle, so we got at the foot of his bed...played the tape and turned on a big flash light. When he jerked up we hit him in the face with a pillow. He peed all over himself.

Some guys in my old neighbor hood did the "add gas to the VW" thing back in 1960 or so.....but after they had the mark believing he was getting 60 mpg..
...they then began REMOVING some gas until he was getting around 10mpg. This went on for about 6 months. The dealer was going nuts trying to find out why an 1100 (or was it 1300) cc engine only got 10mpg!

To the best of my memory they never told him, just let-it-be.


MTBATP

[SCQTT]

Put a few uncooked shrimp in a friend's curtain rod. The smell will be ghastly a few days later, but no one ever looks in a curtain rod for a source of smell.

[MCMXCIVRS]

I heard of someone who taped the beginning of the nightly news where they show the lottery balls being picked one at a time. He then purchased several lottery tickets including one with the same winning numbers. He gave the winning ticket to a friend while others had the other tickets.

The following week while everyone was there, he then pushed the play button of the taped drawing as if they was turning on the TV to watch it live.

Similar story from a crew in another fire station. There was a regular lottery pool except for one fellow who was rather close with his money. He was usually taking advantage of whatever he could freeload from anyone else, so the crew decided to teach him a lesson. One week the group bought a ticket with the previous draws numbers then swapped the page in the newspaper for the earlier edition with the "winning" numbers. The rather stingy fellow was always the first to read the mornign paper, and as he was doing so, they asked him to check the groups ticket. As his expression began to change to one of shock and he revealed they had won, they upped the ante on the gag. They said that they felt bad for him not sharing in the winnings and for the price of a nice steak supper the following night shift, they'd let him in on the prize. That night once there was nothing left but gnawed t-bones from the steaks, they revealed the ruse.

[Ridealot]

Back in high school there was a Dairy about 2 miles from the school. The Dairy owner usually hired 3-4 high school kids to help with feeding and milking the cows.

Everytime we got a new helper we would try to pull the same prank. Nobody ever fell for it until they hired our class valedictorian. You could say he was book smart, but dumb as dirt when it came to common sense.

As the cows came into their stanchions to be milked they had a grain trough to eat out of. The bulls also liked to come thru and get there grain fix. As the bull come into the stanchion we handed the new guy a pair of rubber gloves and a bucket. We told him he had been hired on a special day. It was bull sperm sample day. We told him to hold the bucket under the bull and then start stroking until he had a sperm sample.

The Egghead said O.K. and put on the gloves. As soon as he grabbed ahold of the bulls junk all hell broke loose. By the time we got the bull out of there the grain trough had been torn off of the wall, he had kicked thru the fence and broke the milking machine arm off the wall, and the outside stanchion gate was bent and wouldn't close anymore.

The Dairy owner was not to happy that day. The next day after he had calmed down he told us that people had been trying that trick for at least 20 years and that was the first time anyone had actually fallen for it.

At our graduation the Valedictorian told the story. He said it taught him that no matter how smart you are, there will always be new things in life to learn. Most of the audience was laughing their butts off. Not only that he fell for it, but that he still didn't have enough common sense not to tell that story in public.

[98lee]

When I used to work at Alameda Naval Air Station, there was always a mad rush out to the parking lots to get your car into the long lines of other cars to get off base.:bolt



I wired a co-workers horn relay to his brake light switch.:whistle



He got so many "salutes" from cars in front of him, you'd have thought he was an Admiral (of course his were the one fingered variety).

And by the time he realized that is was his horn that kept going on and off, he was stuck in the middle of all the traffic and couldn't pull over. It was the gift that just kept giving and giving.:rofl:rofl:rofl



:dance:dance:dance

[ltljohn]

Way back in the Navy in P3's we used to mess with the rookie pilots. We would get to cruising altitude and the senior pilot would signal us and turn the controls to the newbie; at this point the entire crew would go to the aft of the plane and it would slowly start going nose up so the newb would trim it to fly level and we would all move forward and send it nose down. This would go back and forth until the senior pilot would berate the newb for his lack of flying skills and take back the controls and the trim was all of a sudden perfect.

[brewmeister]

:nyahI camped with a guy who thought It was funny to tape off everone's horn button so there'd be a bunch af racket in the morning. So to fix his wagon we[ some buddy of mine removed his headlight bucket off his R100S and switched his horn button with his turn signals. When he left in the morning he thought he got away scott free untill that first corner,he came back an hour later cause he couldn't figure what wires were crossed..That was the end of his horn button tapeing...

[squiffynimrod]

Put a few uncooked shrimp in a friend's curtain rod. The smell will be ghastly a few days later, but no one ever looks in a curtain rod for a source of smell.

:laugh:rofl

[KGT1200]

In our dorm so many years ago, we had a friend "Mikey" who every evening on the weekends, would end up drinking a wee too much by 8:00 or so, leave us partying fools, and haul his ass off to bed in his dorm room and pass out.

One night, after trying unsuccessfully to get him to get back up, yelling and knocking on his dorm room door, we had the ingenious idea of taking a single sheet of newspaper, soaking it just a bit with llighter fluid, and sliding it uder the gap of the door. Dorm rooms tended to have a fairly large gap, this one was about 3/4 inch. Once slid under, the plan was to light it on fire, bang on the door, and mikey would get a rude, yet harmless awakening, jump up, and put it out.

The trouble was, however, after repeated banging on the door, Mikey did not awaken! We could see the flames getting higher and higher by looking in the room from the crack in the door!.

What does a friend do? We took the hall fire extinguisher, broke the konb and lock, kicked in the door, put the fire out, all the time Mikey was passed out cold. We shut the door the best we could.

I am sure Mikey was a bit perplexed upon waking with a wild turket hangover, to find his room trashed with black ashes, and his door splintered!

Just so you all don't think we were cruel, we all pitched in to pay the door charge, which if I remember was close to 300.00!

[rspennachio]

Around 1988-1992 my brother was a salesman at the local motorcycle dealer. It was called Farmington Cycle for those of you who know SE Michigan.

Anyway, here was the trick. When they would hire a new salesman my brother would have me come in and give the new guy a stroke. I would walk in and start looking at the new Ninja 600's. I had been pre-coached at what kind of things to say to indicate that I would buy on the spot. As soon as the newby would go over to get the sales managers approval to accept an offer. Another saleman would intercept me and lead me over to the CBR's. Everytime the newby would walk over to find out what was going on I would say somthing like "this guy is going to give me a way better deal than you would.:deal" Everytime the newbys were so mad! Fights almost broke out... Then I would go and sit down at my brothers desk and the laughter broke out! These guys would finally figured it out when the sales manger would go up to the newby and ask if they had met Dave's brother while pointing at me. Yep he was in on it too. We played this little prank on at least 5 or 6 guys. The great parts was the guy who got stroked last would always get first shot at stealing the deal from the next newby. Also it was funny because there is no doubt that we are related, same walk, save voice and same looks.

The very last time we pulled this prank was a real payback! Dave called me and said "we've got this new guy and he is a real PITA, you've got to come in" For this guys stroke it was decided that the one of the Pro's would perpitrate the steal. Again this guy was a huge PITA and he was strugling to make his first sale! He was ripe. So, I walk in as usuall and I approch him (Roulf, not exactly his real name). What is truly ironic is that I knew this guy! I was a busboy at a resturant a year earlier and Roulf was a waiter there. He stiffed me on a weeks worth of tips and then quit the resturant. So when I walking in I thought, no way will this work, this is a bust! But it was too late the game was on! I did my part and sure enough he fell for it. After about 15 to 20 minutes Roulf was about to tie down my final offer. Before he even got the chance to get the managers ok, Dave moved in. Right in front of him Dave says, "dude, I'll beat his best deal any day of the week lets go over to my desk." Roulf just about came undone. Another customer (who was not in on the stroke) even spoke up and said how wrong that is! We didn't even get the chance to reveal the prank to him. Because, on the spot he walked out got in his car and never came back.

I don't feel that I need to go after my $50.00 anymore.

Those are fine memories of a past era. We will be re-telling and laughing about this prank at the Rally in July. So let me know if you'd like to sit in on the story telling session.

:lurk

[NavyCWO]

When I was an E-6 in the Navy my younger sister got married to an Navy Ensign many moons ago. Now, John owned a brand new Trans-am and while they were at the reception my brother and I carefully filled almost the entire car with water balloons. It took the two them about an hour to very carefully get each and every balloon out of the car! Fortunately, (for me) both John and I were in uniform or he probably would have killed my brother and me!

[rmarkr]

Here's one that works well on kids - the magic carpet ride!

Take the victim outside under a tree with foilage at about 15' high. Blindfold them, and have them step onto a carpet covered board (perhaps 2' x 4') Two people will then lift the board a foot or so off the ground, with victim thereon, and begin the ride, by gentle back an forth movement. The magic carpet will get "higher and higher" until his/her head starts to brush the foilage - which is a tree limb held by another. Then the the two holding the board can no longer "sustain" the weight and starting straining and shaking the board to the point where the victim chooses to bail. The victim will usually dive off the board in anticipation of the 10' fall coming up, and flop onto the ground which is a foot below.

[wuli959]

Was on a long road trip with a friend that refused to share the driving duties . . . preferring to sleep off the night before . . .

Found a huge wrecker pulling a semi-tractor butt first down the highway in the same direction we were headed. . . and moved up close to the "front" of the tractor.

let out a huge scream, tapped the brakes, friend wakes up to see the tractor trailer grill filling up the windshield . . . :jawdrop

didn't have any problem getting him to pull his shifts after that :deal

[Rob Nye]

Next time you are with a group of buddies walk up to the bikes with keys in and switch them around.

You'll have four people who suddenly can't turn their keys and wondering why.

[SCQTT]

Call the newb parts guy at your competition and ask them to look up 1st over rings for a Suzuki RE5 or chain and sprockets for a 750 Yamaha Viago.

It has been a while for me so you may have to update the models accordingly.

Perhaps a cam chain tensioner on a 95 R100GS?

[Jeffhorn]

Leaving my ol' El Camino in the spot where I parked my airplane, I left on a three week trip. Upon my return the car was full of empty beer cans. Like the village idiot, I had forgotten to close the sun-roof!

[clowry]

Years ago, some newlywed friends asked another couple to look after their house while they were on their honeymoon. Said 'caretakers', kind souls that they were, reprogrammed ALL of the speed dials on the house phone to their own house number. It took them a while to figure out why everybody they tried to call from the numbers programmed into the phone resulted in a busy signal (because they were calling their own house number...)

[BCKRIDER]

Several years ago at a local club "tech day," I was the mark for that oh-so-realistic-looking plastic oil leak. Must admit that I was the perfect mark - fairly new to motorcycles and a mechanical clutz. The guys had a lot of fun pontificating (with serious faces) on the possible very expensive solutions to this oil leak before I actually touched the "oil." Great joke, and I'm sure my reaction was worth every penny somebody spent buying it.

Maybe even funnier: The first ride of the season on the K75 , after several months winter storage, was a short one to a club breakfast. After breakfast, there was a small pool of what looked to be anti-freeze on the pavement. "Heh, you can't fool me twice!" But it really was anti-freeze. Good news is that the bike healed itself and never again leaked a drop.

By the way, was that valedictorian who told the story of how he tried to milk a bull's sperm in his big speech "real world" dumb? I think it humanises the guy who might otherwise just be the "egghead" to his classmates. I bet that a guy who is very smart and also able to publicly admit his greatest stupidity will go far.

[osbornk]

My brother and his buddies did this back when the VW bug was "the" economy car and hard to get. A fellow worker bought himself one of the very few VW bugs in town. He was proud of the car and the fuel mileage. My brother and his buddies slipped a quart of gas in his car every day and he bragged about his fantastic fuel mileage. After a couple of weeks, they drained a quart of gas out of his car every day. He never did mention that his fuel mileage had gone from great to horrible but he did quit bragging.

[brewmeister]

Years ago back in the early 80's I had a joker friend who would go around the grounds at the GR3 rally and tape peoples horn button with black tape.

At first it was cute and funny. Then folks got irritated being woke up by some loud beemer horns close by there tent.
So myself and another good friend(Roy Knows who.) opened up the headlight bucket of his 1978 R100S and switched the turn signal lead with the horn lead.
When he left the rally unsuspecting he returned to the rally about an hour later crying the blues.
Needless to say he NEVER messed with taping horn buttons again!:D:D:laugh:clap

[kgadley01]

a friend of mine used to kid me about my Harley leaking oil. (it didn't) I got tired of hearing it, so one day I took a small vile of used oil with me when we were meeting for a ride. everyone was inside the coffee shop when I got there, so I poured the oil on the ground under his Goldwing. I thought he was going to die when he saw the oil...LOL

[Freddy]

Years ago while checking in to a Hotel there was a young woman on the pay phone next to the front desk who was obviously very unhappy in her relationship. She was going on and on about how tired she was and that he wasn't putting any effort in to the relationship. After putting my bag in my room I went down for dinner and she was still on the phone with him.
The next morning as I was finishing breakfast in the hotel restaurant, the young woman walked in and sat down alone at the other side of the room. I grabbed my pen and a piece of paper and wrote down in point form a summary of what I had overheard the night before;
- you are emotionally drained
- you are tired
- you are in a one sided relationship....
etc..
As I was leaving the restaurant I stopped at her table and asked her if she believed in people having "auras", she said yes and I passed her the paper saying "This is what I get from you".
As she started to read it, her eyes got wide and she said, "OMG, this is exactly what is going on in my life"
I left the restaurant while she read the note. I figure she may still be telling the story about the guy who read her aura.:D

[crazydrummerdude]

I left the restaurant while she read the note.

Don't tell me it ended there!

[Bob_M]

That aura story is great.

Back in the day I spend some time at my girlfriend’s family’s cabin on Georgian Bay in the Great Lakes. One afternoon we were in a canoe and we saw a loon. She was from Texas and had never seen a loon. The bird would dive and be gone for a while and surface, then dive again. Well I proceeded to explain that the loon was the only bird that lays its eggs underwater. She asked “What happens when they hatch?” With swimming hand gestures I said that they swim to the surface to take their first breath.

That night over during cocktail hour with all her family gathered around she recounted the tale of the loon and its unique natural history.

Considering how cold it got that night, it is hard to recall who was on the receiving end of that joke.

[haughty]

oh the cold it must have been..............
AHahahahahahahah

I hate it when that happens:bottle

[Rob Nye]

Now that I have some time....

This was around 1983 or so.

I was part of a delivery crew from Stamford, Ct to St. Thomas. There were six of us on the boat, Harve the Captain, Dan as the first mate, two women, me and a guy named Max.

Max was a good friend of Harve's which is why he was on the boat. Max had little to no sailing experience.

We split up in three watches of two, going two hours on and four hours off. As captain Harve decided he would stand a watch with the cute blonde, as first mate Dan stood watch with the other girl and I got to teach Max how to sail. :cry

I started the hazing almost immediately.

We motored from Stamford down Long Island Sound, through the east river and out to sea.

Typical afternoon breeze of the Northeast U.S. is from the SW so we are sailing upwind. There was a weather system coming through so we were going to be beating (sailing to windward) for a few days. This means we'll be living at a 15 degree or more heel angle (often closer to 25+) and bouncing around quite a bit, especially as the wind was 20 knots when we cleared NY harbor and forecast to stay up for a few days.

The first night I explained to Max that it was important to get lot's of "gut luggage" into his tummy, even if it was hamburger helper with plenty of red wine to add flavor.

I then got to teach Max the proper way to puke at sea. :deal

The boat was very well equipped. We had a Trimble Loran that was one of the first units that would provide a lat / lon plus you could enter where you wanted to go and it would give you your ETA, velocity made good toward your destination, and course and speed over ground.

One feature of the Trimble is that if you were not heading close enough to your desired course it would blink "never" for an eta. Very reassuring.

We also had a Magnavox 4102, the first civillian GPS unit. There were only a few satellites so it would only get a fix four times a day.

Harve and Dan were trying to impress the ladies so every now and again they'd drag out the sextant. I don't think they ever actually plotted a fix, rather they'd hand the girl a watch and have her write down the time everytime they said mark.

Sailing a Bristol 52 to windward offshore is an exercise in futility, our actual speed made good to Bermuda would be as low as 1 or 2 knots, yet we were sailing along at 6 plus. We planned on stopping in Bermuda for Halloween and didn't want to miss it.

Fast forward to the morning of day four. We're just through the Gulf Stream, we've been going to windward for the entire time and everyone except Harve, Dan and I have been semi sick and miserable. Max has proven to be completely useless, when it was really nasty he'd go fetal in the cockpit and I'd hand steer the entire watch as it was too rough for the autopilot, not to mention it was pretty cold the first two nights.

It's before sunrise and the weather has finally broken. We're motorsailing and finally Max is at the helm.

Sometimes at sea lighting can be really strange especially near the gulf stream. You might have inky black clouds in one direction and plenty of clear skies in the other. We were heading south of east and this was such a morning. There there was a big band of black clouds on the horizon to our east and clear skies to the west.

The sun was soon to crest the horizon but right now the dark clouds were in front of us and it was much brighter off to the west.

I decided to have a little fun with Max.


"So Max... I have a question for you"

"what's up", he replied.

"Well Max, if I were to ask you to point to where the sun was going to rise where would you point"

Max looked around and pointed off our starboard quarter, just as I expected him to.

"over there"

"Ok Max, what is the course we've been steering for the last 24 hours?"

"145" he replied.

"Ok Max now look at the compass and tell me what are the big letters you see closest to 145 degrees?"

Max looked down at the compass and said "E".

"Right. E, Max. That stands for East doesn't it."

Max got very quiet and started looking around some more.

"ya know Max, they say that the first indication that you're in the Bermuda Triangle is the compass goes all screwy...."

Max started to turn a little white.

"Plus I don't want to freak you out but that fancy new Trimble navigational computer that'll put a man on the moon has been flashing never for two days now. While we've been cracking jokes about it Captain harve has been quite serious about using the sextant."

"What does this mean", Max quivered.

"I dunno, but we've got a good boat and food for two weeks. After that I'll eat you if I have too".

That was the trigger. Max freaked out and woke everyone up screaming "We're in the Bermuda Traingle and we're all going to die and Rob is going to eat me!!"

I spent the rest of the trip standing watch with Harve's "date" and he babysat his friend which is how it should have been from the start.

Ahh the memories. :bottle

I used to get $250 a day for fun like this. :groovy

[Ken F]

Rob, that's a great one!

[henzilla]

This is similar to osbornk's VW story...

When I moved to Austin I had a very cranky country boy boss...My saving grace is we both had CJ 7 jeeps and both had a set of twins.
Anyways, he bought a mini truck in the mid 80's...an Isuzu maybe? He bragged it got excellent mileage...this is where the fun began.

Every day we added gas to his tank and continued for about two months. He came in every week bragging with the astounding news of increasing mileage...he went from 15 to 25 and then something around 35. The three of us that were in on the fun egged him on and were always asking how the new truck was doing. We couldn't figure why he never noticed a changing gas gauge. Later he told us he never looked at it,just filled up every Friday since it was his commuter.

Then we started siphoning our gas back, taking a few gallons at a time daily for the next few weeks. He came in one day talking how crappy that Isuzu was and he was taking it back as he almost ran out of gas mid week...he was only getting 8 MPG like his big Ford dually he parked for that reason...we let it him go on for a few days, then the weakest link started laughing as he was listening to the rant and was going to the dealer after work. We all started then and told our story. He about killed us...I got some really bad assignments for a while. It was still worth it:D