BubbaZanetti
02-21-2005, 06:44 PM
i'm sure most of you have seen this, but for those of you who haven't, from the pelican parts "s" forum............ (synthetic oil)
Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to
you and your beloved motorcycle. It will not only leak
out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but
it will also cause your oil filter to clog and
implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication
system. It also will make every part of your bike
permanently slippery because of its linear molecular
chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your
kickstand causing it to retract automatically,
dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not
all...
Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your
bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat causing
your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and
she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats
your sight window and your timing window with a
whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both
non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die.
Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your
battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to
urinate after you put your full leathers on and then
jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your
gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks
and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It
will make it rain during rallies
and on weekends. It will lubricate four timing belts
causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to
bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic
valves and causes the clearances to change every six
miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding
boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
While riding past groups of attractive women it will
cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the
same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge
of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack,
your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then
it voids your warranty by changing your odometer
reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch
and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave
cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the
hottest
day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your
helmet for good measure.
Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts
superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch
your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes
night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your
neutral and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25.
Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail. Synthetic oil
will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends
and then sign your name at the bottom!
i haven't lol'ed so hard in a while
Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to
you and your beloved motorcycle. It will not only leak
out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but
it will also cause your oil filter to clog and
implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication
system. It also will make every part of your bike
permanently slippery because of its linear molecular
chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your
kickstand causing it to retract automatically,
dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not
all...
Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your
bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat causing
your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and
she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats
your sight window and your timing window with a
whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both
non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die.
Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your
battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to
urinate after you put your full leathers on and then
jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your
gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks
and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It
will make it rain during rallies
and on weekends. It will lubricate four timing belts
causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to
bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic
valves and causes the clearances to change every six
miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding
boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
While riding past groups of attractive women it will
cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the
same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge
of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack,
your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then
it voids your warranty by changing your odometer
reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch
and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave
cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the
hottest
day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your
helmet for good measure.
Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts
superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch
your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes
night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your
neutral and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25.
Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail. Synthetic oil
will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends
and then sign your name at the bottom!
i haven't lol'ed so hard in a while