Ever Wonder

[BMWRich58]

EVER WONDER....

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

4. Why is there a light in almost all fridges and not one in most freezers?

5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their private areas when they ask for a bathroom?

9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?



Stop singing and read on …

17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

19. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

20. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

[Usedtopilot]

I needed this today.... work has been very stressful this week. Thanks for giving me several important questions to ponder.:idea

[Braddog]

I love stuff like that. Kind of along the line of the old George Carlin.

[Luckies]

Sounds like Steven Wright to me. :clap

[BradfordBenn]

From doing enough work with the Disney company, I actually know the answer to #10. But I ain't gonna spoil it for ya. :evil

Pretty funny though

[riderR1150GSAdv]

I know the answers to questions 12 & 13.......:rofl :rofl :jester.
I will now spend the rest of the day worrying about the rest.:coffee

[rocketman]

You Had to ask! Ok, since you asked I felt obliged to answer them and spent the past 2 days racking my brains, doing intense research in the depths of my copious library and have found all the answers to these burning questions. Answers that could well rewrite the history of our nation, it’s people and indeed the entire planet.

(well OK, so maybe I was just bored at work, but hey, don’t tell my Boss, OK?)


1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
What makes you think they were after something to drink? (obviously you’re not a teat man!)

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
And people wonder why the chicken was in such a damn hurry to cross the road in the first place???

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
That’s the “high altitude” setting.

4. Why is there a light in almost all fridges and not one in most freezers?
Considering how long many people keep food in their freezers is it any wonder?

5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
What makes you think the song is about Jimmy?

6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes, though many people are dead set against allowing it.

7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
If you ever tried to fix a boat with a coconut, you’d know why!

8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their private areas when they ask for a bathroom?
You can’t get your finger stuck in your arm, butt…..

9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
The answer to this one is so obvious I’m not even going to bother re-dressing it.

10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If you’re smart enough to talk, then it makes sense you’d be smart enough to walk upright!

11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
When was the last time you saw Roadrunner on the menu?

12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
You would have to ask that, wouldn’t you?

13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
What sort of silly question is that, everyone knows you can’t get oil by squeezing a baby.

14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Must be, considering all the stupid things that have done in it’s name!

15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Perhaps, but certainly not the first man trap, just ask any woman!

16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Considering who’s most likely to sing those songs it’s a wonder they have a tune at all!

17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Only if you spell it out for them in one letter words.

18. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
The same reason weatherman are called meteorologists when it has nothing to do with meteors.

19. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Have you tried brushing your teeth lately?

20. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Actually that tends to slow it down, elevator controls aren’t very sophisticated and get easily confused.


RM
Answers are my game, but don't play in my yard.....:D

[kbasa]

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Why is it that stuff carried on a ship is called cargo and stuff carried in a car is called a shipment?

I don't get it, man.

[rocketman]

Originally posted by KBasa
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Why is it that stuff carried on a ship is called cargo and stuff carried in a car is called a shipment?

I don't get it, man.

Obviously I will have to continue my research...

RM

[lkchris]

Originally posted by BMWRich58
EVER WONDER....
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


Sometimes in a medical emergency the advice is to make the patient vomit. Eating burnt toast is often recommended for this "chore."

Just the toaster manufacturer providing a public service.