How long?

[sudani]

Received a phone call from a long time friend today. She is getting married in a week! She's been dating this man for 2.5 months. I'm happy for her...I hope that she has found her dreamboat. But really......2.5 months?

How long was it before you took the leap with your squeeze? What made you do it?

Inquiring minds want to know.........

[womanridge]

2 1/2 mos? Seems a bit premature, but hey, who am I to judge?
I've fallen in LXXX in less time than that. (But it was a looooooooooooong time ago.)

[Copilot]

Yikes.........still in the lust stage (in my humble opinion). My first marriage I was engaged after 3 months, married 9 months later. Gee, did I say "first" marriage. You are in lust for the first 6 months, then the blinders come off and you start seeing what is real.

My sweetheart and I were engaged a whopping 3 months but we were together for over 2 years before that.

But who am I to judge?

:nyah

[clowry]

Dave and I had known each other about 7 years before we got married, (still too young in my parents' opinions). Celebrated out 27th anniversary in August. That said, I think everybody's different. If it feels right to them, they should go for it. Nothing in life is certain, but that shouldn't stop us from living it as best we can. Just my opinion...

[Rod Sheridan]

26 years, 6 months and counting..............Rod.

[Montana]

You don't have to know a person for a long time or well to decide to marry (or commit). In fact, you are fooling yourself if you think waiting some amount of time makes the difference.

Life is a journey. We all change over time. You'll get to know each other, more, every day.

For us, the decision to marry was literally stated as: Yeah, let's go for some history.

23 years and counting.

You can decide whether to get to know each other more, over the years, as the committed couple or more, over the years, as singles. The process is the same: your life is happening.

My father finally married a widow he had been dating and living with, on and off, for something like 9 years. When they met she had two toddlers, girls. I asked him why they finally decided to get married. His answer was, "I already raised my two daughters, I didn't want to raise two more."

I pointed out that he was the father figure for her children already. What a stupid answer.

[sudani]

Montana,

Very enlightening response to my query and really made sense to me. "You can decide whether to get to know each other more, over the years, as the committed couple or more, over the years, as singles. The process is the same: your life is happening." I think the key word here is "committed". Without it there can be no moving forward.

God knows, I've made good and bad decisions in my life....bottom line is, as you said, life continues to happen. I was married 31 years....been single 10 yrs. I guess I look at my friend who was married 25 yrs, single for 15 and think....has she given up the dream or is she just going with her gut feeling that this is it and commit? Either way, I hope it works out for her. :heart

Still....scary as hell! I don't take getting married lightly. :confused:

[redclfco]

26 years in June, more coming....

[John Brase]

A long time ago, 1979 I think it was, I used to hang out at a bar-pizza place. There was a cute lady working there and we went to a movie one Sunday afternoon. The next week I was in the bar and asked her if she would like to come home with me after she got off work.

SHE'S STILL HERE!!

John

[sudani]

A long time ago, 1979 I think it was, I used to hang out at a bar-pizza place. There was a cute lady working there and we went to a movie one Sunday afternoon. The next week I was in the bar and asked her if she would like to come home with me after she got off work.

SHE'S STILL HERE!!

John

Now that's cute! :D

[SIBUD]

Let's see. Met in Sept, 64, married in July 67 and working on our 43rd year.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

You make a decision, every single day, to love.

Not lust, not infatuation, not warm fuzzies, not happily ever after. While all nice, they are not real love.

Love is a choice we make over, and over and over.

At least that is the view from my front porch.

[Edgefever]

I met my husband when he as 13 he is now 46 who's counting? We were married when he was 19. What a ride!:clap

[sudani]

I met my husband when he as 13 he is now 46 who's counting? We were married when he was 19. What a ride!:clap

Edge,

I met mine at 13, too, and married at 18. It worked for a very long time. I guess it's like SIBUD said, "Love is a choice we make over, and over and over".

I find this thread and the input from personal experiences very enlightening. Thank you for sharing.

[Montana]

...
God knows, I've made good and bad decisions in my life....bottom line is, as you said, life continues to happen.
...Either way, I hope it works out for her. :heart

Still....scary as hell! I don't take getting married lightly. :confused:Well, I don't have one of those "OMG, you are SO made for each other!" kind of marriages. Maybe we just are doomed...uh, lucky (yeah, that's it...) to have found each other.

We both, together and separately, have made some bad decisions in these years. The hope is, the bad decisions made by one will be counterbalanced by the other.

I don't take getting married lightly, either. I confess to a "starter" marriage (two years or less, by definition, I believe!). I told this husband, "One of us has to die to get out of this marriage." An interesting question is to ask your friends: Would you do it again?

Okay, this is really girly thing: I hadn't really watched Sex & The City very often, but I got into it around the time Miranda, the redhaired lawyer, met, dated, broke up with, and finally married the bartender Steve. I thought that relationship was well written and interesting. She was who she is. He counterbalanced those things.

What really seems to make the difference is trust. Don't f**k around with someone you don't trust. Life is too short for that drama.

[88bmwJeff]

My wife and I dated for about nine months before we lived together. I proposed after about a year of living together, and we got married about 18 months after that.

While 2.5 months does seem short, I do think the older we get the less time it takes us to "figure out" if someone is right or wrong for us.

[RTST]

Wife and I met on a Harley ride (we both ride BMW's now) in June 1988 and were married two months later in August. Have ridden the whole time.
Larry

[Bob1100RTC]

I married my wife 8 months after our first date. 2 kids and 25 years later and we're still in love/lust. When it's the right person it's the right person.

[sudani]

I do hope that is the case for my friend. I guess when it's right....go for it!

[Newstar]

Matt and I met (officially) after I had a few very choice words for him in a public hallway at the hospital where we both worked. We dated for about a year before he was transferred to DE. For financial reasons, we moved in together and he proposed two years later. I told him that as a child of divorced parents, I believed if I never married, I'd never divorce. So he better be absolutely sure. :D

We just celebrated our 15th anniversary so I guess he was sure.

[jgr451]

Let's see. Met in Sept, 64, married in July 67 and working on our 43rd year.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

You make a decision, every single day, to love.

Not lust, not infatuation, not warm fuzzies, not happily ever after. While all nice, they are not real love.

Love is a choice we make over, and over and over.

At least that is the view from my front porch.

Thanks,Sibud,my thoughts exactly.Love is a decision.

[jgr451]

I have been married twice,kids both times,wonderful people.
My first ex wife was a peach,died 6 years ago,we made peace and continued our love that was interrupted by misunderstanding and divorce.
My second ex wife made herself into my enemy for 15 years,that ended this past spring.That has been a very hard process.
My sweetheart of the last 13 years and I just decided I would move into her house and join our "stuff".
I love her,she loves me,we both have our terms and conditions,and finally,suddenly,the conditions are right.

Who can say?Love is a decision that is not always easy to make,and once made,is challenged and made all over again.All the time every day.

For me,the decision is made easier because I trust my sweetheart.Seems like it has taken her longer to trust me.

[sudani]

Well, she did it! The ceremony was lovely, performed by a Judge in his chambers. We had a good time and her new hubby is friendly and funny. Nice combination.

Not bad, girlfriend!

:beer

[AKBeemer]

We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout.

Her mom was sure she was pregnant; 11 years later that proved to be true.

Her mom was sure it would not last; maybe so, but 34 years and counting.

The fever is still there! :clap

[Montana]

Sudani, I hope he proves to be as good a friend to you as you are to his new wife.