Fellow Parents

[88bmwJeff]

Just need some moral support from fellow parents who have been there. Our little guy is about a year old and is sick (colds, flu, etc.) at least 75% of the time. Yes he's in daycare. It's even more rare that all three of us are well at the same, and that never lasts long. I know there are parents dealing with far worse, but it's getting very tiresome being sick or dealing with a sick toddler and spouse.


I'm sure there will be some non-parents responding here, but that's OK.

[86755]

Have no fear, it doesn't last forever. Daycare is a cauldron of disease, you can't avoid that. It is one of the costs associated with daycare (other than the financial cost).

My boy is 1 year old this week and has already had pink eye twice (once, I got it too. GROSS!), and continues to fight a cough since about January. My daughter had chicken-pox 2 years ago which caused a stir in the doctors office because none of the med students could identify what it was. Apparently, it is so rare anymore that med. students almost never see it.

If this is the worst that happens to our kids, you and I are lucky. :thumb A lack of sleep and snotty nose are easier to deal with than many other situations, so I will NOT pretend that I have it rough. I just power through the sleepless nights, and try to catch up on the weekend, although that rarely happens. I've learned to thrive on a lack of sleep.
Be thankful that your kid is otherwise healthy (said with all due respect).

Now, if I could only get my boy to sleep through the night. Ah, that would be nice...:laugh

[Squatch]

All I can say is be fanatical about washing your hands. Don't rub your eyes nose or mouth without clean hands. Zycam and Air Born help with the symptoms...

[CTellman]

As an elementary teacher I see similar situations. Sometimes it is the environment in homes. Formaldehyde, chemicals, bad ventilation or very dry air. Look at the big picture . . . maybe it is right under your nose.
Campbell Tellman II
'93 R100RT
:thumb

[Rapid_Roy]

Hang in there, much changes as they get older.

[amiles]

We had the same experience, try to console yourself that school is a 12 year process of you and your kids building up your immunity to disease.

My sister tells me that years ago when she began her teaching career (HS) she was sick for the entire year.

The wife was a dental assistant, again sick at first, nowadays she is practically invulnerable to colds etc.

[Fritzc]

Just a thought in retrospect! After teaching school for 31 years, I began to wonder why some kids missed so much school whereas others would have perfect attendance. In an unscientific survey of my own, it appeared to me that the kids that missed a lot of school came from homes where there was smoking. My neighbor, who does not smoke in the home, nevertheless, ALWAYS smokes in his truck while taking the kids places. It makes my skin crawl to see that. Another gross behavior, in my opinion, is to see a pregnant woman smoking. Doesn't she realize all the chemicals in that inhaled cigarette smoke are going right into the fetus' bloodstream??? Today, researchers are finding proof positive that second-hand smoke is harmful, bearing out my private suspicions over the years.
JMHO:whistle :whistle

[john1691]

My wife directed a daycare, was a preschool teacher and now works in the middle school, so we get our fair share of "bugs" as they go around. As others have mentioned, once your immune system gets used to these new pests, it will get easier and less frequent. All the earlier advise is good, if you have a forced hot air and or A/C system, you might want to look into higher efficiency filtration, as well as a UV light to kill bacteria as if floats by. There are a number of brands, check with a local HVAC contracter, or in many cases, if you can work on a bike, you can install these items as well.

Hang in there, just sent our oldest to college, now it's a whole new set of diseases to be afraid of!

[hlothery]

We had the same experience, try to console yourself that school is a 12 year process of you and your kids building up your immunity to disease.

My sister tells me that years ago when she began her teaching career (HS) she was sick for the entire year.

The wife was a dental assistant, again sick at first, nowadays she is practically invulnerable to colds etc.

What he said! Wife is a school nurse. She is sick every fall, then does well after. Resist the temptation to seek antibiotics. That only supresses his immune system in the long run. If his blood count is normal, he will get past it.

[Bob1100RTC]

Been there and done that. I'm glad my kids are older now. Under 5 or so and it seemed like they got everything. Ahh the joy of parenthood. LOL. Hang in there.

[kahuhna]

I have a 4 y.o. and can empathize. +1 on the Zycam and clean hands. We were calling my son "patient zero" for a while. It does get better. Can't say enough about vitamin C either.

Good Luck

[stkmkt1]

Yep. Been there, done that. As everyone else has said, hang in there. It really starts getting better for you sooner than later. First yerar is a killer sometimes.:dunno

[Belquar]

I am pretty much done with my pediatrician. They have overlooked a few things that were rather obvious. Broken collarbone on my 19 mos old (at the time) she got that in daycare.

Ever since they started daycare about 9 mos ago they have battled colds, ear infections, etc. Gets pretty rough at times. The pediatrician overlooked a really bad ear infection. We finally said screw it and went to see the otylarynologist(sp) and she ran a course of amoxicillin and then put tubes in our oldest daughter's ears. Since then...she has been great. Hardly a sniffle.

The youngest is a tough little cookie and doesn't seem to feel like crap when she gets sick so we are battling through to the warmer weather to try and avoid tubes for her.

my point....consider seeing the specialist...tubes can make a huge difference in their ability to clear a cold. If all that funk stays in their head and clogs the eustacian tube it can make it difficult to get them better.

[JK]

Just need some moral support from fellow parents who have been there. Our little guy is about a year old and is sick (colds, flu, etc.) at least 75% of the time. Yes he's in daycare. It's even more rare that all three of us are well at the same, and that never lasts long. I know there are parents dealing with far worse, but it's getting very tiresome being sick or dealing with a sick toddler and spouse.


I'm sure there will be some non-parents responding here, but that's OK.

Hi Jeff -

Half the hassle are the sick kids that get dropped off at Daycare getting the other half sick. From Hep-A, Hep-B, and Hep-C, to herpies and other nasties, large Daycare settings are definitely situations you should try your best to avoid.

My advice is to find a surrogate stay at home "grandmother" to watch the little guy, one-on-one. At her home, or at your's, you'll find this the simpliest solution to an otherwise complex problem. The cost should be a "wash" (off the books), but both sides of the equation should definitely benefit.

FWIW

J.K.

P.S. Dad with five kids. As all extended families, might be best if you rotate your love between more than one surrogates.

[88bmwJeff]

Hey thanks for the support.

FYI--No smoking in our household. I use Airborne when I think its necessary. Jacob just got his first ear infection, so I don't think it's necessary to run to the specialist. But, if it persists, we will take him. He's already seen an ENT for being tongue tied.

kahuhna, I sympathize with you calling your little one patient zero. I call him our little germ factory at times. In a loving way of course.

JK, unfortunately, at home help is very expensive here in the San Francisco Bay Area, and it's not in the cards, finances, etc.

[SHawn_P]

Jeff, lot's of good advice already, so I won't repeat it. I can empathize with your situation - been through it before and going through another medical situation now. It grinds you and the rest of the family down, just hold fast Jeff and encourage one another. One day you guys will be over the hump so to speak and you'll probably have the opportunity to encourage some other new parents...

[brentde3]

Our little guy, now 4, has been in daycare since he was a year-and-a-half. Yes, at the beginning we were all sick. But I will say that daycare has been a blessing in disguise. His immune system, and ours, are great now. He hasn't been sick in a year, and my wife and I rarely get sick now.

Hang in there. It gets better.

[JK]

Hey thanks for the support.

FYI--No smoking in our household. I use Airborne when I think its necessary. Jacob just got his first ear infection, so I don't think it's necessary to run to the specialist. But, if it persists, we will take him. He's already seen an ENT for being tongue tied.

kahuhna, I sympathize with you calling your little one patient zero. I call him our little germ factory at times. In a loving way of course.

JK, unfortunately, at home help is very expensive here in the San Francisco Bay Area, and it's not in the cards, finances, etc.

Hi Jeff -

There are many senior citizens that are lonely and financially strapped these days. You'd be surprised at their willingness to join an extended family, if given the opportunity and ability. Young children are a blessing and provide meaning and purpose to life. Drop by a coffee or donut shop, or a park or library in your neighborhood, to see where the grandmoms hang out. Post an ad in a local community center or newspaper and you'll be surprised at the positive responses.

In short, home daycare (their's or your's) is cheaper than you think.

Finally, stay at home mom's may also like to suppliment their incomes, so don't overlook that resource, either.

In summary, times maybe tough, but kids are tougher. Don't give up until you explore all of the possibilities.

J.K.

P.S. When my F/A wife and I couldn't bid around our flying schedule, we found an eighty-year old couple (retired college professors) to watch our one year old free of charge on the days we were both out flying. Although the scheduling problem lasted for less than a year, Tom and Pat still wanted to watch Konnor, even when we were both home, they enjoyed it so much.

P.P.S. If the cost and demand for in-home daycare is so great in the Bay Area, maybe you should consider providing and profiting that service for others. Also, maybe someone in the BMWMOA family and Bay Area might be interested in filling in for your need, too

[Visian]

Just need some moral support from fellow parents who have been there. Our little guy is about a year old and is sick (colds, flu, etc.) at least 75% of the time. Yes he's in daycare. It's even more rare that all three of us are well at the same, and that never lasts long. I know there are parents dealing with far worse, but it's getting very tiresome being sick or dealing with a sick toddler and spouse.


I'm sure there will be some non-parents responding here, but that's OK.

i hope this is not redundant, i didn't have time to read the entire thread.

have his ear tubes checked.

we had the same problem with our first son, and they ultimately found that his inner ear tubes were clogged, so they didn't drain properly and got infected. colds and other crap ensued from there.

he had to have surgery to implant small plastic tubes to keep things open. it was nerve wracking because he had to go under general anesthesia. but it worked like a charm and he was very healthy from there on out.

ian

[Boingo]

Oh Jeff,

Man, I feel your pain. We are getting getting over the last round of round of lung crud here. My two little darling germ magnets are determined to bring the latest bug of the month home. It gets old, but hey, what can you do? The only option is to build an isolation chamber, but the state authorities tend to frown at that sort of thing. That which does not kill you only makes you stronger. My wife just obtained Wonder Women level, while I seem stuck at Boy Wonder Robin.

The common wisdom around here is that if you keep the kids away from the whole day care thing (for the disease factor), when kindergarten finally hits, half the year is missed dealing with the same germs you tried to avoid in the first place.

Scott

[PlaneGeek]

No worries my friend. I saw your post yesterday while at work. When I came home our 16 month old daughter didn't seem to have an appetite for dinner. Then while sitting in her high chair she got sick. All told last night she got sick a number of times, apparently the soup she had at day care didn't agree with her and one of the other kids.

Frankly there is nothing better then in the world then having her curl up on my chest when she's not feeling well (ok, her feeling healthy is definitely better). So eventually we fell asleep past midnight with her on my chest and a towel in my hand at the ready. This morning she's feeling like a champ, running around, she enjoyed her oatmeal and everything seems stable. I'm looking forward to a long nap with her later today.

I told my wife about your post and she's completely sympathetic as some times as a new parent it's hard not to feel alone. It just makes a cold one seem so much better for daddy :drink

[pffog]

Hi

In short, home daycare (their's or your's) is cheaper than you think.

Finally, stay at home mom's may also like to suppliment their incomes, so don't overlook that resourse, either..........



What he said, when our kids were small we found it less expensive and MUCH more convenient.

[Holly]

I know you don't want to hear this right now, but when I was young I brought home and gave to my 3 sisters:

Measles (both Red and German)
Mumps
Chicken Pox
My sisters brought home whooping cough.

Most of those things are dealt with now in vaccinations. When I was very young, polio was still a problem and my aunt was in a TB sanitorium.

Someday you will get some rest. Enjoy this time as much as possible between yawns. You will look back on it fondly.

Holly

[Mika]

Pit Crews! A germ ridden filthy lot that you love to death!

Went through this with my daughters and now am going through it with my grandchildren. Bugs of various kinds work their way through day care settings and schools. Keep things clean and do laundry regularly.

Keep a health journal. It will help you give a better picture of what is going on with your child when you go to the doctor. Over time it will help anticipate what the next season will bring or act as a reference to help you remember what worked or didn’t work in the past.

I am a believer that you have to mix kids up. I have several nieces and nephews that went through home schooling at different times. They have grown up to be architects, lawyers and CPAs. They also were the sickest ones in school when they returned to a traditional setting. Dorm life’s colds and other communal health issues almost took out my honor graduating architect niece the first year after being home schooled most of the time.

I am a one of those Grandparents that JK talks about. It is an option. Just make certain the grandparent is healthy enough to deal with it. Either my getting on the road or their going away for a spring break etc. has saved me more than once from being laid low by my young germ infested pit crew members.

[chasman]

Wait until they come home from preschool, kindergarten, or first grade with head lice! It only takes one kid in class to pass it on. Experienced it with both our son and daughter. In one class half of the kids were infected. Each time our entire family had to use special lice killing shampoo. All bedding and pillows must be disinfected along with couches, chairs...basically any fabric that their little heads had touched.

That was 20 years ago. Remember it like it was yesterday.

[vetbmwrider]

Wait until they come home from preschool, kindergarten, or first grade with head lice! It only takes one kid in class to pass it on. Experienced it with both our son and daughter. In one class half of the kids were infected. Each time our entire family had to use special lice killing shampoo. All bedding and pillows must be disinfected along with couches, chairs...basically any fabric that their little heads had touched.

That was 20 years ago. Remember it like it was yesterday.

That is one gift from school that keeps on giving until all parents get on board to brake that cycle. Had deal with that issue 20 years ago with my oldest daughter. Not looking forward when the 5 year old comes home with the bugs, cross my fingers that it will not happen again.

[glennhendricks]

We have 3, now 27, 25 and 23. The baby is in the Marines.

The first one is the experimental model. Everything is scary and new. By the time the 3rd came around we were just happy when he wasn't eating stuff out of the yard where the dog played.

Hang in there, the time goes quickly and trust your instincts.

They are God's own little disease vectors but their exposures make them stronger.

Good luck.

[Sue]

Jeff ... Hang in there. This too, shall pass.
And one day you will turn around and that little guy with the ear infections and croup will be standing in your driveway, looking like this. And you will wonder when the hell that happened?!?

http://www.beemerhill.com/ChrisBikeJan06a.jpg

[kantuckid]

What I have just been reading sounds like a docudrama about real life-welcome to the "big leagues" of raising kids! As for spread of germs amongst kids, one of my daughter-in-laws is a first grade teacher and says it is so common to catch them with a bugger going into the mouth , when it is too late to stop the action! I know this is kinda gross, but the dog poop idea above caused me to recall this graphic example of what very young kids may do!