Dumb Things We Have Done On Two Wheels

[mfifer]

The old picture thread and post by Visian got me thinking of all those dumb things we have done over time on two wheels.
Here is the one that always lingers in my mind.

One nice summer day in the mid 1970's , in the era of my Kawasaki MachIII and bell bottom pants, I was riding around town in Albuquerque on the freshly custom painted and Denco chrome piped Buzz Bomb. I had smoked several intersections and pulled off some really , girl impressing , wheelies and was really getting into the bravado of the moment.
Of coarse you know there has to be the dumb thing coming.
As I drove south on San Mateo Blvd (a six lane street) I came up to a stop light at a slow roll. The light had been red for some time so I was expecting the change.
As my speed crept lower and lower it became clear the light would not change before gravity would consume me.
Being the expert rider I thought of myself and the rush of my deeds to this point , I wait till the very final moment to put my right foot out.
At only that split second did I realize that my bell bottom pant leg was over the kick starter!
Another split second and there I was laying on my side among many laughing and unsympathetic motorists whom most I had passed at a relatively high speed , on the hot asphalt.
All I could picture was the little guy on the trike on the show Laugh In.
After I picked my humbled self up and got under way once again I had learned many lessons that day one of which was when you do a really stupid thing , do not think people will help you until they have had a real good laugh!

:blush

Mike

[108625]

Death Valley in June.

[KGT1200]

So many things it's hard to count...

Circa 1973...eastern Colorado in early March and an idiot 15 year old.

My first proto-type for tire chains for my Honda 90 made it about 4 miles back into the snow covered sand hills south of Brush Colorado

Before the chains became unraveled, and jammed up with the chain where I couldn't dig them out.

The bad part was my girlfriend was wearing her pajamas, my old snow pacs that did not fit and her dad’s great big jacket.

We got home well after dark

What a long, long walk that was...

And her dad was a big old German farmer who did not like me before that little trick, and a whole lot less after it happened!

[john1691]

Riding my '75 Kawi 175 dirtbike in the snow, I stopped at a buddies house to talk him into coming out. When I restarted the bike, the throttle froze wide open and I was pointed down the driveway. I went screaming down the drive, across the road, just being missed by a car, hit the ditch on the other side and was catapolted over the handle bars. The car driver (one of my teachers) stopped and yelled at me, as though I had tried it! Since it was cold I had snow gear on (first ATGATT) so no bruises other than ego.

[jdmetzger]

My story was documented before in the Owners News. Trying to ride a motorcycle without any training. That ride ended 20 feet later in the grass next to my driveway. Good thing I at least knew enough to buy gear, first. :heh

[SheRidesABeemer]

100 mph on an F650 on the Autobahn...can you say death wobble? :doh

[Oldhway]

I lived in San Antonio back in 1980-82 where I was stationed with the Air Force at Wilfred Hall Medical Center. I had gotten to know one of the PA's there by the name of Gary Dunham. Gary had a 1981 Honda CB900F and I had a 1979 Suzuki GS1000E. One Saturday we went for a ride in the hill country outside of town. The day was a total testosterone fest with each of us trying to prove we had the better bike. Several times during the day we each had slid the tires in corners (this was back in the day of skinny bias ply tires, scary stuff) and even overcooked a corner or two (managed to never go down though.

When we got back to Gary's house at the end of the day, we noted we had gone 296 miles....

In 3 hours....

Why neither of us were killed that day, I have no idea. To this day it stands out as one of the most memorable days riding in my life.

Gary was a diehard motorcyclist and it would not surprise me if he is part of this group here today.

Gary, if you are out there or if anyone here knows Gary, I'd love to get his contact info.

[robertklee]

Ha. Allstate Moped-1965. I had ridden the bike hard for two years-ten thousand miles in a two block radius. Slick tires, bent fenders, no muffler. No rear brake cable (as a result thereof-no rear brakes-only front brake). One sunny July day, headed to my Aunt Grace's on an errand for mom, I was flying down Maple Street-and I do mean DOWN. Maple Street was and still is a very steep hill. At the bottom of said hill Maple Street dead ended into Highway 64 (pre-bypass days) which was a very heavily traveled truck route. Having no rear brakes, I had mastered the art of slowing early and gradually applying the front brake. Well, half way down, I eased off the throttle and began to apply the front brake...no front brake...some how, some way, the cable had slipped off of the brake arm. Two options-go to one of the deep ditches on either side or try to shoot across the busy highway hoping the odds gods would be in my favor. Too chicken to lhit the ditches, I chose the latter. I'll never forget the sound of that semi trucks horn blaring in my ear. He must have missed the tip of my rear fender a mili-millionth of an inch. I blasted across the highway directly into my Aunt Grace's gravel driveway, flew straight into her backyard and laid it down on it's side. I tumbled across the grass and the old moped came to rest against a huge oak tree. Aunt Grace just happened to be hanging out clothes and witnessed the whole back yard incident. I came to a stop at her feet. She never missed a clothes pin and just looked down at me as I lay on my back gazing skyward. I'll never forget her words all of us have heard so many times before, "You don't need to be showing out like that on that thing. You're gonna get killed."

Dozens of motorcycles and forty plus years later, I still have a flashback everytime I reach for that front brake lever.

:usa

[Richr8]

I was 18 at the time. Went grocery shopping woth the GF on a Honda 450CL. Decide to pick up an ironing board that day. How do you get it home.? Easy, have the GF sit on it with two grocery bags balanced on each side of her.

We were on Okinawa at the time and would see strnger things every day.

[NavyCWO]

Coco Solo, Panama Canal Zone, early 1970s. Just bought a brand new Yamaha RD 350. I decided to see just how fast it would go using a closed runway of the old Naval Air Station. I was screaming along at about 110 when I noticed, I was only feeling a slight bump every once in a while. I suspected I was kinda' "floating" along and the bumps I felt were the joints between the concrete sections of the runway. After I got it stopped, I checked and the joints were about 2 inches high so I guess a runway is an appropriate place to be if you're going to go "flying"! Safety gear: helmet and blue jeans jacket! I guess the old saying that God watches over drunks and dumb, young sailors has a bit of truth to it.

[dzimbric]

Death Valley in June.


:doh

[cayuse60]

This was an incident I witnessed:

1974; neighbor who was an experienced motorcross rider brings home a new Ford Station wagon for the lady of the house and a brand new yamaha 250 on a trailer behind the Ford station wagon. He offloads the yamaha and at the same time the neighbor living on the otherside of his house comes over to look at his new vehicles.
I keep mowing my lawn, but I hear the 2 cycle engine of the Yamaha fire up and look to see what is happening. The other neighbor is sitting astride the yamaha. The next thing that happens is the yamaha lurching into full throttle motion with the neighbor on board and T-boning the new Ford station wagon. As sorry as all this sounds I could not stop from being consumed by a fit of laughter, and had to hide in my garage until I could stop chuckling.

[cayuse60]

Death Valley in June.

1973: Flying an HH-3 Jolly Green the length of death valley 10 feet above ground level and 40 feet below sea level. :wow

[88bmwJeff]

Well a few things come to mind. But, I'll limit it to being on motorized two wheels. In the early 1980's my brother and I rode to school on a moped (Vespa). We joked around from time to time, which included one of us standing up on the pegs. Well, one time my brother was riding (I was the passenger), he stood up, then I stood up. This shifted the weight too far back, and the moped wheeled throwing us off. Lucky for us, mom and dad insisted we wear helmets. My brother ended up with a light concussion, and to this day has no recollection of the accident.

Another time, I went dirt riding (Honda XL 175) up in the hills behind my house, and lost control of the bike going up a steep hill. The bike ended up on top of me, and I initially couldn't get the bike off of me. Of course it was muffler side down, so it was also burning my leg. I was thinking I was going to be stuck up there for quite a long time. Some how I managed to slowly work the bike off of me.

[henzilla]

Think I told my dumb story before...but here goes...

Was 15 and riding a Honda 90 Scrambler...the throttle design was the slide in the handlebars...which gummed up a lot,especially with sand in Galveston. Popped a wheelie standing on rear pegs near the marina,throttle hung wide open and I went over backwards...the bike ended up landing back down on both wheels and went right into a 6' deep canal in front of the marina docks...of course a crowd watched...then I think they cheered as we were considered a nuisance:dunno with our little gang of mini trails and dirt bikes in the little subdivision....we pulled it out but it never recovered with all the saltwater... I quit doing that silly stuff after that ....well, mostly anyways

My second dummy move was in '77 on a HD SuperGlide...forgot to remove LARGE padlock off front forks and made one heck of a circle in front of another large cheering crowd:laugh :laugh :laugh

[Paul_F]

In 1971, my wife and I spent an afternoon slowing climbing the French Alps on our 49cc Honda mopeds. For the descent, I decided to shut off the engine and just coast down the other side, relying only on the small brake. There were no incidents and I made it down safely, but after wards thought that without engine braking power, I had set myself up for a potentially dangerous situation.

When I first got my K five years ago, I was practising in a local subdivision when it stalled at at T intersection. So I started the bike up and really revved the engine so it wouldn't stall again. Unfortunately I neglected to allow the rpms to drop before releasing the clutch. It was like being shot out of a cannon. I jumped the opposite curb (denting the wheel big time) and skidded out onto someone's front lawn, barely missing their sturdy tree and stopping maybe twelve feet short of their brick house. The left side of the bike no longer looked as pristine as the right side. They helped me get the bike up. I rode home and came back with the car to pickup the pieces. They refused to let me either reseed or re sod the skid mark on their front lawn (which remained there for full year). I broke nothing but was so sore that when we went to the Albuquerque Balloon festival a couple of weeks later, I hurt too much to handle my Hassleblads, my pro 35mm cameras and ended using my lightest point and shoot 35mm camera.

[JanMiller]

1978. Wife and I are near Hannibal, MO, on 'the trip where everything went wrong'. She's about 6 months along with our youngest. We leave a scenic overlook at the top of a hill overlooking the Mississippi. At the bottom of the hill is a beautiful lefty sweeper. WhoooHooooo.... As I lean in, the sidestand hits, either didn't lift it, or not enough and it snapped back down. Easy to do then, my '74 Kaw Z1 had no interlock. The 'Stupid'? Instead of stopping, I figured I could kick it up, and still negotiate the corner. Tried, it snapped back down... Now, for Stupid II. Rationalized, 'it'll bend or flip up' so just heeled her over. Well, that old side stand, forged steel, would have held up the Titanic in dry dock, so both wheels majestically lifted off the tarmac. Luckily, as it dug a groove in the asphalt, it scrubbed of enough speed so we hit the guardrail at a fairly low velocity. A fellow following stopped, he didn't laugh, he figured he would be calling in a death. Stand bent out about 1/2". I always tell my son that's why he's the way he is... Lucky that day, only banged up a little bit, bike easily repairable... Think of it every time I snick the RT into gear and the sidestand is down and the engine dies...

[JanMiller]

My story was documented before in the Owners News. Trying to ride a motorcycle without any training. That ride ended 20 feet later in the grass next to my driveway. Good thing I at least knew enough to buy gear, first. :heh

makes me think of when my cousin took my other cousins HD ElectraGlide out for a spin, after saying 'yeah, I know how to ride a motorcycle'.... Smile when I remember how he was shaking when he finally got stopped after almost running into the church across the street, almost getting hit by a car after he bounced over the curb and went down the hill toward the train on the railroad tracks.. "No, I never rode one, I thought it would be just like a BICYCLE." is what he said after he dried out...

[knary]

100 mph on an F650 on the Autobahn...can you say death wobble? :doh

Since you can write it, wouldn't that make it the near-death wobble? :D


The list of stupid things I've done is long and too well documented already. :hide

[Visian]

The old picture thread and post by Visian got me thinking of all those dumb things we have done over time on two wheels.
Here is the one that always lingers in my mind.


:ha

how'd i miss this thread?

and of course... i've got more.

same bultaco... no beer or combustibles involved this time.

was getting ready to put the bike back on the trailer to drive me and my buddies and my brand new girlfriend back up to school.

so... i just *had* to crank it up and ride over to the trailer... couldn't just push it, just *had* to show off.

of course, a wheelstand ensued.

too much throttle, too low a gear and too short of pants... feet came off the pegs and both knees dragged across at least 10 feet of pavement before i finally gave up and tossed the bike.

300+ miles of driving with excruciatingly painful, bleeding knees later... my girlfriend gets out of the car, tells me i am a dork (which i already knew...) and left me.

:doh

ian

[r11rs94]

So so many ... where to start

Driving down main road, I saw what I thought was an empty box in the street, so that when I rode bu it I kicked it. Of course it was not empty, it contained to full gallons of paint. About lost control of the bike and my ankle hurt for days.

Pull a wheelie coming up a steep hill with a pasanger on the back ( no sissy bar) with out notfing the passanger first. She slid right off the back and as I recall she was very upset with me after that.

100++ MPH on a 1972 Suzuki 2-cycle 750cc (water buffalo) with drum brakes and poor shocks.:nono

drinking and riding. what the hell was I thinking.:bottle
Passing between cars..

Standing on the seat with a throddle lock engaged. :doh

and so many more. I'm still amazed that I'm here.

[hlothery]

maybe the dumbest thing I have ever done.....period!

Woke up one morning in my bed in Amarillo, Tx when I was much younger and oh so foolish. Suddenly it dawned on me that I could not remember how I got home last night from the bar. Stumbled to the window to look down and see if my motorcycle was there............................................. ..............it was.:blush

[JanMiller]

So so many ... where to start

Driving down main road, I saw what I thought was an empty box in the street, so that when I rode bu it I kicked it. Of course it was not empty, it contained to full gallons of paint. About lost control of the bike and my ankle hurt for days.

Pull a wheelie coming up a steep hill with a pasanger on the back ( no sissy bar) with out notfing the passanger first. She slid right off the back and as I recall she was very upset with me after that.

100++ MPH on a 1972 Suzuki 2-cycle 750cc (water buffalo) with drum brakes and poor shocks.:nono

drinking and riding. what the hell was I thinking.:bottle
Passing between cars..

Standing on the seat with a throddle lock engaged. :doh

and so many more. I'm still amazed that I'm here.

Had a Water-Buffalo too, '74. Great bike, Old Smokie I called it. First long trip on that. 100+ was, in retrospect, a disaster on asphalt but... what'd I know then, it was great!!

[mfifer]

my girlfriend gets out of the car, tells me i am a dork (which i already knew...) and left me.

ian

Ouch !!!!!!! That hurts !!!!!!!! :bow


Mike

[Vagabird]

One of the dumbest things I did was figuring that because I knew how to ride a bicycle and how to drive a manual-shift car, I could ride a motorcycle. I bought my first bike and took off. After dealing with Bay-Area traffic for a while, and one almost-over-the-cliff curve on California route 1, I realized there was a little more to riding than I knew. Probably the only reason I'm still here is that I didn't start riding until I was 35 and by then had the sense of a 20 year-old. (I'm a late bloomer. :blush )

“… rich, complex, and conflicting natures … require a long period of fermentation.” Roger Fry, English art critic.

[Bob_M]

The second stupidest thing on two wheels was on my first real tour back in the late 70s on a honda XL 350 I was on the Pacific coast of Mexico about 70 miles south of Puerto Vaerta. I got pulled into a federale check point where about 20 teen age soldiers and their commander waved me in. I was asked if I had any pot, I replied (in broken spanish) no, because it was bad with paraquat (period herbicide). They asked me if I had cocaine and I replied that I was too poor to have cocaine (which would be easy to believe). Then the commander asked to see my knife. It was a real nice sheath knife made by Kershaw, and 35 years ago I think it cost me about $70! I handed the knife to the officer handle forward and he hefted it and touched the (sharp) edge and pronounced "this is a killing knife". Despite my protestations that it was for fish and fruit he said that he must confiscate the knife. WELL In my youthful bravado I argued that he just wanted the knife for himself. All the soldiers laughed. The officer uttered some quickly spoken spanish and gave a nod to one of his crew. Thereupon I was poked in the side with an M16 and instructed to sit on a rock in the sun. The young soldier spoke to me in his native tongue and said blah blah blah blah carcil blah blah. Which interperted to mean You stupid dip $hit do you want to go to jail?. suffice it to say that I gave up the knife.

The first stupidest thing I did on two wheels was to go on a short tour without a spare tube. There was no bravado on that one, just dumbness. Despite the fix-a-flat (worthless) and the patch kit I was screwed. However I really got to know what kind of people use this forum and ride BMWs because the preparedness and selflessness of others rose and shone to rescued this poor sap. :bow