Cliffy777
12-21-2003, 02:49 PM
Holiday Greetings To You and Yours,
In the spirit of diversity and all that, Julie and I will NOT be observing the traditional "Christmas" holiday.
Instead we are celebrating Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah, which is a recently re-discovered Native American Holy Day.
Mention of Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah was first recorded by the Squash And Corn Sucks, an all meat eating tribe in the Pacific Northwest. They mentioned how the young ones of the tribe lit a seven layered candle thing and waited patiently for the "Bearded White man of the Solstice" to encircle the camp, leaving bits of meat, hide clothing, and instructions on how to make big money through "gaming" for the people.
Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah is celebrated just after Christmas on the 25th but before the beginning of Kwanza on the 26th. So it doesn't last but a second. In the second at the exact stroke of midnight on the 25th, gifts are exchanged and gambling is commenced. In the interest of preserving wildlife, Julie and I will use cloth in place of the traditional hide and we will distribute veggies to the family instead of the meat treats favored by the Squash and Corn Sucks people.
Have a tremendous Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah and know that we love you.
Cliff Yankovich, President
Restoration Society of Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah
(at the advice of my lawyers I am notifying all readers that I am not poking fun at Native Americans or anyone else. Just wanted to vent my holiday frustration and continue in my never ending quest to make people think and/or laugh.)
In the spirit of diversity and all that, Julie and I will NOT be observing the traditional "Christmas" holiday.
Instead we are celebrating Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah, which is a recently re-discovered Native American Holy Day.
Mention of Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah was first recorded by the Squash And Corn Sucks, an all meat eating tribe in the Pacific Northwest. They mentioned how the young ones of the tribe lit a seven layered candle thing and waited patiently for the "Bearded White man of the Solstice" to encircle the camp, leaving bits of meat, hide clothing, and instructions on how to make big money through "gaming" for the people.
Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah is celebrated just after Christmas on the 25th but before the beginning of Kwanza on the 26th. So it doesn't last but a second. In the second at the exact stroke of midnight on the 25th, gifts are exchanged and gambling is commenced. In the interest of preserving wildlife, Julie and I will use cloth in place of the traditional hide and we will distribute veggies to the family instead of the meat treats favored by the Squash and Corn Sucks people.
Have a tremendous Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah and know that we love you.
Cliff Yankovich, President
Restoration Society of Ee-ahh-no-es-ka-tah
(at the advice of my lawyers I am notifying all readers that I am not poking fun at Native Americans or anyone else. Just wanted to vent my holiday frustration and continue in my never ending quest to make people think and/or laugh.)