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View Full Version : Confessions to "The Brotherhood"


kreinke
10-05-2006, 11:26 AM
One of the things that I enjoy about motorcycling is "The Brotherhood". We all know what it is. It's not some gang but rather the collective of all of us because we choose to ride.

We all smell the same diesel smoke, freshly cut alfalfa, and ozone right before a rain. These are all things the cagers are missing out on.

We pretty much stop and offer roadside assistance no matter what we ride. We sometimes hang out together. The internet has given us a way to enjoy others rides and experiences even though we can't ride with them.

Most importantly, we're always offering our our "brothers" [and sisters] safety advice and compassion in case something happens. I found this out when my wife had her crack up in 2005 when she got cards from people she didn't even know.

I guess I haven't told you anything you didn't already know so I'll cut to why I'm writing these thoughts down in the first place.

Three weeks ago I got pulled over for speeding.

I know sometimes we view this as a rite of passage and perhaps even funny. Anyone who has ridden with me knows I like riding "North of 60" just as much as any motorcyclist.

But there's something else.

What has been sticking in my craw was my state of mind when I got pulled over. You see, my older son is having trouble with school and has generally been having a hard time (he's gifted/talented and being diagnosed with an autism disorder) . This was the third day is 2 weeks that I got called to either take him home or come in to calm him down.

This time, dealing with my kid, his principal and counselor not only made me run late for work, It also caused my blood pressure to go sky high.

I got home from school in a fury and started getting ready for work. I had two choices: 1. drive the cage or 2. ride the bike.

I chose the bike.

About two miles from home I saw the blue and red lights and pulled over.
He had me dead-to-rights. 75 in a 55. Problem was when he asked me the obligatory "Do you know how fast you were going?" I couldn't answer.

My mind was in other places. It was pissed at my kid. It was wondering what kind of mistakes I made as a parent to cause what's wrong with him. It was worrying about how long I had to get to work without a tardy. I was frustrated at the world and at the situation. In any case I can most assuredly tell you it wasn't processing anything remotely having to do with operating a motorcycle.

If anything I think that I was taking my frustrations out on it. I probably should have fired up the kid's PW-50 because wringing the **** out of the throttle on that wouldn't break any laws and I'd still feel the same.

Irony often arrives hand-in-hand with stupidity. The officer who pulled me over was the first officer on-scene at my wife's accident. He remembered me, asked how Sandy had recovered, then proceeded to give me a much justified tounge lashing.

"If you're this upset then go back home, call in sick, and relax", he said.
The officer that wrote that ticket probably saved my life that afternoon. If I had made it to work I probably would have easily gotten torques by someone there and unnecessarily chewed their asses and gotten in trouble.

[reader asks]"Is there a moral to this dude's rambling?"

If you ride distracted, hurried, or mad, you are risking yourself and others.

Motorcycling should be a relaxing experience. Immerse your thoughts to the point where you think that you are one with the road and machine and there are no outside distractions. This "zen" is the cornerstone of "the Brother/Sisterhood".

It's why golfers don't constantly wave at each other and we do.

Not being able to totally immerse youself in making that perfect shift, perfect corner, or being intoxicated by the rhythm of the engine is to cheat youself out of the best parts of the sport. It also can be dangerous.

PacWestGS
10-05-2006, 11:34 AM
Very well said. I hope things get better, but chances are they are as good as it gets (Edited for clarity - You got a ticket, you lived to ride another day, you had a new attitude by the time you got to work that saved your day, your family is safe and they have a husband/father. I could go on but, that is what I was thinking with that sentence. The Bad is on me) . Wish you well and you're right you have to ride in the right mindset or it will most likely be the last ride.

Peace be with you...

DOc

jwhite518
10-05-2006, 11:58 AM
I know exactly what you're talking about because it happened to me. But this time it was right after my first wife and I had decided to get a divorce. I was riding my motorcycle on city streets in San Francisco, but my mind was on other things. Anger, uncertainty for the future, concern about money, etc. I ended up not noticing that the car ahead of me was stopped, and couldn't get myself stopped in time, so I rear-ended the car. Fortunately it was a low speed accident, and my bike and I were OK. The car wasn't damaged at all except for mark on the rear bumper.

This event was a real wake-up for me. As you so eloquently stated above, if your head isn't in your ride, you shouldn't be riding. Thanks for the great post.

Good luck with your son.
Jerry

kreinke
10-05-2006, 11:59 AM
Very well said. I hope things get better, but chances are they are as good as it gets.

DOc
WTF? I may sometimes be a pessimist but I'm no defeatist. Things always can get better. That's what we've got to try for sin't it?

As for my son, we had an IEP meeting last week with the school and hammered out some new stategies and things are getting better already....

I'm the kind of guy who wears his emotions on my sleeve and sometimes I let them run away. Sometimes my mouth does the same. My bad. :cry

userw5
10-05-2006, 12:49 PM
I had a similiar experience but it happened after I received my Driving Award and again after I went to court. (you have to re-live the whole thing in front of the judge).

It's not like I wasn't paying attention to the road, but I just took my mind off the speedometer. You know the scenario....clear day , open road, sunday morning no traffic...

I know taking my mind off the speedometer was my fault and I deserved the ticket. I was upset with myself and didn't ride for a few weeks, because I knew I wasn't in the right frame of mind. :banghead I eventually got past it and took the whole situation as a learning experience.

PacWestGS
10-05-2006, 12:57 PM
I'm sorry, that came out wrong. :cry

Life isn't fair sometimes, we get the hand we get and try thoughout our lives to make each day better than the last. :dunno

I meant in no way that you have unique situations that can't improve with time, obviously they already have. :) Frustration is a difficult emotion to understand. My apologies for failing to understand that.

My shoe tastes pretty bad, I meant to console and instead had the opposite effect.

Doc

SheRidesABeemer
10-05-2006, 01:05 PM
You put to words some important things, and did a nice job at it.

offroadcruiser
10-05-2006, 01:07 PM
In our extended family (4 riders) we almost never ride to work. Too many things to think about and the commute in the Toronto area is bad enough in a cage. If you can relax and forget all about the problems at the office go for it but for us we prefer to ride without deadlines.

Xaque
10-05-2006, 05:59 PM
I love the motorcycle as an escape...

...not just letting your mind be free, but also having something to focus on. (The same way someone may play a game of chess, or complete a crossword to relax).

my favorite part about riding is I can turn my pager/cell phone off, and I have a perfect excuse for ignoring their calls :)

Well said kreinke :thumb

(on a side note, I think you and bubba have something in common ;) )

-Xaque0

RandyB
10-05-2006, 07:36 PM
I agree: Well said. I think your ride would have been more therapeutic had you called in sick. As in "I'm sick of things right now." Call it mental hygiene. I suspect they wouldn't mind too much, once in a while. If it hadn't been for my bike, I suspect I would have been drunk the better part of my first year home. The running joke in the shop was me calling in sick with the bike idling. In a different state. Most of them had been through the same thing.

You're absolutely right about the perfect corner, perfect shift and a soothing engine. By the time you get home, you're a human again.

Again, well said.

John Brase
10-05-2006, 07:49 PM
There is another side to this coin, I think. Sometimes, when life sucks, the bike can be good therapy. If, that is, you can get through the first couple of minutes/miles and get your head into the ride. It doesn't always work and when it doesn't it's time to turn around and go home. When it does work, it is magic.
The problems will still be there when you get home but for an hour, or a morning, or a day you've held them at bay. And when you are done you might, just might, see things in a slightly different light.

John

Holly
10-06-2006, 01:27 AM
It was pissed at my kid. It was wondering what kind of mistakes I made as a parent to cause what's wrong with him.

Perfectly natural to be pissed, but the kid can't help it. Better to be pissed at society, which isn't providing the services he needs.
As a parent you have passed on the gifted/talented gene and those kids often have trouble at school. They are too smart to be satisfied with the status quo. The autism is not something you have done so don't waste energy you need blaming yourself for it. Find a autism support group and start learning about IEPs and how the school setting needs to be proactive instead of reactive. There is help for these kids.

Holly
Special Ed Teacher

soffiler
10-06-2006, 08:09 AM
There is another side to this coin, I think. Sometimes, when life sucks, the bike can be good therapy. If, that is, you can get through the first couple of minutes/miles and get your head into the ride. It doesn't always work and when it doesn't it's time to turn around and go home. When it does work, it is magic.
The problems will still be there when you get home but for an hour, or a morning, or a day you've held them at bay. And when you are done you might, just might, see things in a slightly different light.

John

Very eloquently stated, and very VERY true. Nicely done.

Motor31
10-07-2006, 11:26 AM
Well said and a good "lesson" there.

It is not the bike that provides the "zen like" feeling. It only intensifies it for us. If you are not starting out "in the zone" before butt hits seat and other things are occupying the mind up top, or in the front of your mind then it's time to rethink the ride. Concentrate on driving and let the subconscious hassle with the problem unhindered by the fore brain's interferrance. The solution may be ready for you when you return.

BubbaZanetti
10-07-2006, 05:35 PM
great post, i've found myself "riding dumb" when other things are on my mind, and that is never a good place to be. i think it helps to take a time out before riding, prepare for the moment.

btw,

your avatar rocks!

iRene
10-08-2006, 03:12 PM
A worthwhile thread, and a good point to consider.